right be prepared for a long rant..
my partner and I dated for two years when i was 18 then I finished it..(felt as though I was too young to settle down etc) It was a bad break up and he didnt take it well. we then didnt speak for five years till in an odd turn of events i fell pregnant with another mans baby. we then became friends and he supported me through my lone pregnancy and we fell in love again. we got back together when ds1 was 3 months old. because of the hassel we had when we finished before we didnt tell his parents untill we fell pregnant with ds2. so..so big shock to them, not only was their son going back out with the bitch who broke his heart but i was pregnant and had a child with another man which dp has been raising as his own since he was born.
they never really liked me to be honest as i am totally different from them. they are from a very small town in which people work all week and go to the local pub on a saturday night and pretty much never leave unless they REALLY have to. which is fine if thats what you are used to but dp and i are totally different. i have always worked and for the past 8 years have lived in a city and had a good career in recruitment untill ds2 came along. i am now a sahm so i am feeling the pinch when it comes to lack of mental stimulation.
Anyway, back to the point..due to the lack of support i had in the city..( all my family work and are extremely busy socially. dp parents are retired) we decided when ds2 was born to move to his home town. found the perfect house but it was right next door to dps parents. i (naively) thought that it would be ok living next to them but it seems the honeymoon period is truely over.
dp's parent were great with ds1 when they first met him however recently my mil is treating him differently. he's only 2 and is going throught that 'asserting his authority' stage.. he very rarely tantrums and he's a good wee boy but she rarely shows him affection and the other day when i left him with her i came back a few minutes after he thought i'd gone to find him crying for me saying 'granny i'm crying..miss mummy' and she was ignoring him and cuddling the baby( who was fine ) while he was upset.
i was totally shocked..i think its up to each individual if they want to ignore crying but not when a child is genuinely upset and especially not when he doesnt know that he is loved by that person.
plus he has started hitting and kicking dps family.. he doesnt hit anyone else not even me but he wont go to them and is a different boy around them.
i dont know what to do..i'm now stuck lilving next door to them so i'm reluctant to confront them about it as it is dp's parents however i feel the way my son is being treated is really unfair as in later life they will create a divide between the two boys, something that dp and myself have always strived to never let happen.
i feel as though here i am under contant scrutiny over the way i raise the kids and even career choices. for example my mil told me when i had applied for an OU course that i was taking on too much and that i should content myself with housework. its only for five years till the boys are in school..and that my problem is that i sit down too much..if i got stuck into the ironing then i'd not be bored.eh???
i know that shes just old school and that she means well but anyone who has two kids under two knows that trying to keep a house immaculate is nigh on impossible. my house is clean dont get me wrong but rarely sitting perfect unless the kids are in bed.
i just feel the small town mentality is making me want to scream! dp empathises but is in the same boat..dunno what to do. and i feel as if its intensified my the fact we live so close. i'm contemplating moving but i love my house!
HELP PLEASE!
ps sorry for the lack of punctuation and correct spelling and capital letters..i'm rubbish when i'm angry