Is this my life now?? (sorry long)

[weejock]

1st post please be patient!!

DP and i have been together for over 2.5 years, always been a long distance relationship until i moved down south, this reduced the distance from over 300 miles to 100 miles. We cannot be closer due to our jobs. I had a rosy glow idea that id see him every weekend, not so as family and friends have been visiting so he refuses to be here too.

Basically i spoil him rotten, i run after him and cater to pretty much his every need (i know its sad but ive always been like that) he is quite demanding whether it be food, foot rubs, his telly programmes, new rock & republic jeans etc.. (i know, mug)

I however am the opposite im not demanding at all its very easy to keep me satisfied, regular texts and phonecalls, the odd bath run for me with a glass of wine.. This has happened recently but only after i had to point out that he needed to pull his finger out, btw im still waiting on a promised birthday present, my birthday was in January. Sex pretty non existant and when it is its wham bam (sorry tmi) almost like he is trying to put me off.

We have had an awful few weeks with lots of tense conversations i wouldnt call them proper arguments. He is making an effort but it seems i may have done the 'be carefull what you wish for' as my heart just isnt in it any more.

Example, sitting at dinner last night conversation was nil and when i tried to speak, no reply, when i said that i was trying to start a conv, i had the face took off me!! This made me go quiet, his interpretation was that i was being petulant, like a 5 year old. When i said he had shouted i got the usual 'its in your fucking head, you are fucking mad'

Another example this week, he controls all tv watching, sport, history etc All stuff i do not watch. He scrolled down the sky planner 'what the fuck is all this shite doing on here, watch whatever the fuck you want' the controller got lobbed onto my ankle bone. I went to bed..

I should point out that its my house, i pay all the bills including the sky, he contributes nothing to the household finances but because he makes the journey to see me i dont ask him for anything, and im too proud anyway.

He generally makes me laugh and can be affectionate but no proper kissing. Im 33 and i think im too young to be settling for this life, my 2 best friends think i am wasting my time. I have tried to break up with him, i told him last night to pack his stuff and go, this was after he said 'i dont have to fucking stay here'. So i told him to go.

But he doesnt go!! He just ignores whats been said and carries on like everything is ok and its soo not and im just exhausted with the whole situation.

Im sorry its soo long and thankyou if you got to the end and im sorry if i didnt make sense..

You have given this excuse for a human being 25 years of your beautiful, precious life. 25 years.

That more than makes up for any guilt you may have.

You do not deserve for this to be your life. You can change it.

I think you need to get angry. Anger is such a powerful driving force for change. Being sad and despondent won't give you the energy you need to bite the bullet, maybe that's why your finding kicking him out hard.

Lets see if we can make you angry.

You moved down to him. And he wasn't even fucking grateful at what a big sacrifice you made, leaving friends and family behind?

He refuses to spend time with you? He should be fucking delighted to spend time with you and he should be thanking his lucky stars, not avoiding you!

You cater to his every need and he does pretty much fuck all in return? Who the hell does he think he is, the king of the fucking world? What an ungrateful prick.

He has still not got you a birthday present and your birthday was in January! How dare he think that you are worth so little that you don't even get a birthday present? After all you do for him?

He doesn't talk to you when you are having a serious conversation, instead calling you "fucking mad"? How dare he speak like this to you and ignore you!

He won't let you watch programmes on your own TV which you pay for and has a temper tantrum and hurts you? He is a miserable, agressive excuse for a human and doesn't deserve a minute more of your time, or anyone elses! And how old is he, three?

When you tell him to go he doesn't, and he doesn't even seem to care? He thinks nothing of you. He is selfish and arrogant and can't even recognise when he is not wanted, he is so blinded by how amazing he thinks he is!

He won't move his fat ass out of bed before the afternoon to spend time with you? He is lazy and self centred and I bet he smells.

I hope that helps and you start to feel so fire in your belly!

If I was you I wouldn't try to make him realise why you are leaving him, he really won't get it and you will waste time and energy trying to justify yourself to an ignorant twat who doesn't deserve an explanation because he has behaved so badly. If you really feel like you need to then I would write him a letter/email so that he has it in black and white and can't argue with you about it.

You sound like such a nice person, feeling so guilty that you become his virtual slave for 25 years. You have paid your due with interest now. Time to move forward to better things.

Sorry, forgot the point... 2.5 years! 2.5 years! that should have said!