Irish .... that's awful, just plain meanness. Why on earth are you paying this woman's mortgage for her ? (sorry if that's too nosey)
My ex MIL (thank god) was similarly inclined. She also went on several - and often prolonged (8 weeks in South Africa anyone ?, or maybe a Caribbean cruise ?) - holidays a year, changed her car every 5000 (yes, that isn't a misprint) miles "because I don't want to break down in the middle of nowhere" and lived in a 5 bed house, on her own, worth close to £1million.
Yet poverty-pleading was constant. Any normal person facing real difficulty would have downsized to release equity - and boy could she have done that .... but then she wouldn't have been able to play the martyr. We had the "couldn't afford to buy you much as my council tax is so expensive" line over and over. IMO, it was an excuse for her to be spiteful .... 1 christmas my present was a Clinique makeup bag and mirror - the free gift sort - with 5 or 6 bath pearls rolling around in the bottom of it. I'm not mercenary but this felt worse than nothing as I'm certain a point was being made, i.e. you're worth no effort or thought at all.
She also used to leave answerphone messages along these lines:
"Hi, it's me, can you call me back asap"
"Hi, it's me again, I really would appreciate a call back asap"
"This is the 3rd time I've called, I really do need to speak to you"
"Hello, are you there ? This is really urgent, please call me"
"Why aren't you calling me ? I need to speak to you and it's very urgent" ......
.... all this in the space of 2 hours. Pardon us for going out ! What she really meant was that the battery in her smoke alarm needed replacing and she was too damn lazy to get on a footstool and do it herself. I kid you not ! This was a woman in her early 60s BTW. And, of course, there was nothing like a controlling drama !
I could go on for ages .. this thread has had the unfortunate effect of reminding me of a horrendous relationship which is well dead. However her piece de resistance was having brother in law come round to ours on pretext of "mum wants to know what your postcode is as she's updating her will". What, it transpired, this really meant, was a veiled threat to get mummy's boy ex H to toe the line .... of course he phones with his postcode (like she didn't know it already) and of course asks why she's updating her will. Strangely enough, I was told I was never wanted and to "get out" just a couple of weeks later. Co-incidence ???
Phew ... my blood pressure is rising just thinking about it. I'm well off out of it.