OMG I cannot believe DH, (disenchanted3)

[Disenchanted3]

Last night I was sobbinbg on the phone (having a panic attack) as he was saying he doesn't love me anymore, he will NOT come home (because i was begging him to at 2am cause i was scared having an anxiety attack) he said we should never have gotten married etc...

i was heart broken,

today ive been heartbroken but went to my mums, did not call him at all,

1pm he rings me asking if he can take kids out, i say no as we are alreaqdy going out, i tell him i dont want to talk to him right now.

he rang me about an hour ago and says 'do you want me to come home now?'

Hes saying ill come back i was just angry

errrrr no what you mean is your twat of a mum is doing your head inb after only 24 hours and this is an easier option.

i told him no.

hes gone to his mums again,

with the opinion he will be here tomorrow night,

I . think. not.

well i hope he can too....but why do you need to change?

Lol, Im worse than him!

Its not just him,Im not going to make out its all his fault and play the victim when I do the same to him,

thats why i need time away from him, to sort myself out too, to have some space to try and change myself.

I am a nasty hateful person,

and don't take it as the wordsof an abused broken woman, women can be abusive too.

Little update,

DH has said he is going to go see his doctors and talk to them about volounteering somewhere.

That way he wont feelunder pressure from 'bosses' but he will be out of the house doing something productive, leaving me to be a 'proper' SAHM.

This does not mean hes coming home,far fromit.

But if whilst hes away he can start something new (hes even talkingof a course) then thats a great step forwards for him

Have you managed to get a gp appointment. You need some help to cope better and feel more self confident rather than rely on him so much. It will also send out a signal to him that you mean business and recognise your weaknesses rather than blame him.