Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I couldn't find any offal to put in my drawers or victorian bloomers for the MIL to find but have put in immigration papers...

59 replies

ballsofsteel · 10/09/2009 13:29

...she is coming here at 2pm, I have put a rubber snake in the other drawer.

Would it be wise to place a defribrillator by the kitchen sink as a precaution?

For background:
I do not have a good relationship with PIL and only tolerate what I have to for my dh, the last time she was here and I had to help dh to help FIL she went through my personal belongings (in my bedroom) I had a feeling she would snoop for put in printed off rude drawings and some sex toys.

She found them (as the drawer was not arranged properly as I had left it) and she was acting even more freakishly than usual.

I am at that point of almost chickening out- I know it is childish but I have had my fill of taking the moral highground for almost 10 years. Shall I leave?

Where can I buy a cheap rosary?

OP posts:
2rebecca · 10/09/2009 15:49

Can you not just follow her on some pretext if she goes upstairs and shoo her out of the bedroom? If they aren't actually staying with you then I wouldn't have thought they'd be unattended for long enough to go through your things. Close the bedroom doors and go upstairs yourself if she's more than 2 minutes in the loo.

BitOfFun · 10/09/2009 15:58

Love the mousetrap idea

smackapacka · 10/09/2009 16:02

Definitely something that will prove she's been where she shouldn't. Talc or something...

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 10/09/2009 16:46

How about you just tell her you know she has been looking in her drawers and you would appreciate if she didn't do again.

Much better than putting silly stuff in your room and her going green and then white. Might not be as much fun but who knows, it might actually work.

Original poster
ballsofsteel · 10/09/2009 17:02

I'm back. I looked and I think she had a look at the papers but can not be sure. I wish I'd sellotaped a hair on the drawer.

She wasnt rude or nasty when I arrived back(out of character). DC said she did go to the toilet upstairs and put TV Disney on for them.

I asked how long she was up there for and got a strange reply no luck there.

She did not have kidneys on her acrylic twinset.

OP posts:
abedelia · 10/09/2009 18:25

I second putting some set mousetraps in the back of the drawers... the bigger and more vicious the better. Ask the dcs whether they heard a snap and a yelp...

bran · 10/09/2009 19:10

I would pay quite a bit of money to be a fly on the wall during the next conversation your MIL has with your DH. I can just imagine you MIL dropping strong hints about how good life is in the UK and how many creepie crawlies there are in Oz (or wherever) and your DH having no idea what she's on about.

Original poster
ballsofsteel · 10/09/2009 20:07

She is such a crafty bastard.

She has called dh and asked why we are thinking of moving abroad of course he told her he didn't know what she was on about (I hadn't told him anything about putting rogue stuff in the drawers) and he reassured her we were going nowhere and he didn't know why I'd have that in my drawers. Needless to say I have to come up with something feasible so as not to convice dh I was leaving him.

oh PIGSHIT! I hate it when a plan does not come together.

OP posts:
PaulDacresCrackWhore · 10/09/2009 20:20

Just explain that she found some papers you tidied away in a hurry as were looking through for a friend, but you can't understand why she would be in that drawer? [innocent]

2rebecca · 10/09/2009 20:20

Why did you not tell your husband that you put it in the bedroom drawer because you suspected your MIL snooped in your bedroom drawers but wanted to be sure. I don't think my husband would be any more impressed at the idea of his parents rifling through our private stuff than I would be.
It's very nosy and rude.
You could ask him to phone her back and tell her to keep out of the bedroom drawers in future.

AnyFucker · 10/09/2009 20:24

this is very silly

I am sure it was funny at one time (joyless prig emoticon)

but now I suspect you are just going to look like a loon and your relationship with your dh will suffer further

you are better to just tell her to stay the fuck out of your private business

Overmydeadbody · 10/09/2009 20:40

Sorry but as funny as this is I'm with AnyFucker.

Just tell her not to go into your room, let alone look through your drawers.

bran · 10/09/2009 20:50

Just tell your DH that you suspected she was snooping and you put something in your drawer that you were sure would get a response from her to test your suspicions. Then get him to give his mum a bollocking about respecting other people's privacy.

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 10/09/2009 21:52

Did your DH not question why his Mother had found papers in your drawers anyway. as in what were you doing in Ballsofsteels drawers mother?

MrsMerryHenry · 10/09/2009 22:06

This is hilarious but AnyFucker is right. Why have you let this go on so long?

toomanystuffedbears · 10/09/2009 22:15

What Bran said, and
I think AnyFucker is ultimately right.

But, perhaps she will always look in the drawers. It is her power play. Or she may be possessed by nosiness.

Setting the boundary verbally may not work. Something physical may be needed like a lock on the drawer, or better- on the bedroom door.

Put a couple of extra foot lockers (pad locked) around the house...let her wonder.

2rebecca · 10/09/2009 22:27

If she just visits occasionally then I wouldn't think it was worth the hassle of putting a lock on the door. I just wouldn't let her out of my sight. I would definitely tell her not to snoop though and ask her what she thought she was up to prying in my drawers.

Original poster
ballsofsteel · 10/09/2009 22:58

I had left the house and she was with the dc.

She told him she needed a plaster.

I know I have been an idiot, I started the thread in jest. Kind of, it was meant to be a light hearted follow up to the last one.

OP posts:
gingerbunny · 10/09/2009 23:17

tell dh everything then tell mil to stay out of your drawers or if she cant then tell her to stay out of the house.
ask her how she would feel if it was the other way around.
she sounds like an awful interfering old bat.

Buda · 11/09/2009 06:42

It is funny in a way but you do also need to deal with it now. Tell DH that you knew she snoops in drawers so you planted something that you knew she would not be able to resist asking about.

I also think that you deal with it this way as feel helpless to deal with it any other way. Doing things like this mean that you can laugh about it on here as otherwise you may cry. Or kill her! (Disclaimer: I know OP would not really "kill" her MIL - it is just a figure of speech!)

Your DH needs to tell her that while she is welcome in the house if she snoops again she won't be.

Original poster
ballsofsteel · 11/09/2009 09:06

Buda, you are spot on it's a coping mechanism.

I don't wail, thrash and cry anymore, I did that for about 7 years.

OP posts:
Saltire · 11/09/2009 09:31

So if you now hav eproof that she looks in your drawers, you can say to DH that she does so, and that the immigratin papers is proof that she does

Tidey · 11/09/2009 09:39

I know you shouldn't have to, but could you put a lock on your bedroom door? I'm sure your DH will understand why you put the papers in there. Why didn't you tell him you knew she had snooped through the drawers last time?

glasgowlass · 11/09/2009 09:41

Agree with Saltire & Buda, now you have the proof she is snooping as she would not have found immigration papers etc.
Speak to DH and tell him this. Explain why you planted the stuff as you previously had suspicions she as looking through your personal belongings.
Let him speak to her and if she snoops again tell her she will no longer be welcome in your home as she has no concept of respect for others.

caramelwaffle · 11/09/2009 11:30

Put a lock on your bedroom door.