When dp proposed did he ask your parents?

[IOnlyReadtheDailyMailinCafes]

Dp and I are getting married next year. I have told my sister, a friend and you lot. My sister is staying with us, dp asked her to keep the news to herself as he had not asked my mum if he could marry me. I said to him that if he wanted to talk to my mum why didn't he phone her, she lives a six hour drive away. Dp said it was an important discussion that needed to happen face to face.

I dont think for one moment that my Mum would object and if she did I don't think he would not marry me if she forbade it. Dp and my Mum have not always got on so I am thinking that maybe he wants to clear the air and assure her that we will be happy and that he is 100% dedicated to us.

But it does seem an odd thing to do, although dp is very traditional and he takes his reponsibility as a parent and partner very seriously.

My feminsist heckles were raised when he said this, I am not a piece of property being passed from one person to another. I also got s little shirty ( but only to myself) as dp is also my carer and I wondered if he would feel the need to ask permission if he were not my carer.

Anyway ramble over, so did your dp ask for your hand in marriage? Did you ask for your wife's hand in marriage?

Never occurred (sp?)to either of us.

I suppose if you see it as a respect thing, it would be disrespectful for you not to.

No.

yes

ASK them? Didn't even TELL them till after we'd tied the knot

He didn't "ask" as such, but he went to my dad and told him he was going to propose, and asked for his blessing.

It was a fab thing to do. it meant SO MUCH to both my parents adn I think they really respected him for it, and I was very happy he did it. but then i do adore my daddy and marrying really did feel like i was moving from the care of one man to that of another- nothing to do with material things or being provided for or owned, more an amazing rite of passage.

I think my father would have been somewhat taken aback by this, and we are very close. When dh and I decided to get married, we as a couple, told our respective parents. Together. Does your partner expect you to ask his parents for permission to marry him?

My dp's parents are dead cory. I would not ask for their permission and don't think anyone would expect me to which is why it feels a little odd to me. But if his mother was alive I would have been very mindful of how close they were and I may have made clear how much dp means to me and how seriously I am taking my commitment to him. I know she always worried a little about me being a divorcee and dp having to step up the plate of being a father to another man's child. Maybe dp is doing a similar thing.

No he didn't.

My dad would have been horrified if he had. He has since said to me that he knew DH was right for me because he didn't ask.

I think it depends on your family and your relationship dynamic.

When I got married first time no one asked anyone's parents, we just told them. But that was a very different kind of marriage.

DH asked DS (who was 18 at the time)

His repley (twas to be my third marriage)

'Yes, as long as you dont give her back!'

And congrats my lovely.

Thankyou Shoshe, to have someone on here who knows me say that means a bit as we have had a hard few years.

My mum may say something similar to dp!

Don't say anything on my FB , dp will kill me.

I will be picking the brains of the Dorset MNers for wedding venues.

Cafes, Sherborne abbey, I went to one there the other day, beautiful.

dh asked my dad, though we were already jointly mortgaged and i was 8months pg with our first.

i just thought it was sweet (my dad can be quite scary, in his own quiet way, and i took it as a sign of commitment from dh that he was willing to talk to my family lke that.)

Have not been to Shebourne Abbey, I will have a look. I was thinking more of a wood or a barn. Because I have had the big traditional white wedding we want something very personal to us. We have tried to think of what has bought us together , what people think of when they think of us and where we are happiest. So we are having a camping outdoorsy wedding.

Oneopinionatedmother we have been jointly mortgaged, we now have a joint savings account and rent book! We have been together for 6 years, lived together for 4. Depending on a few factors and if we get married next year or the year after we may have our own child together.