What to do about cheating H!!!! Help

[Eve34]

Ok I know I am not stupid. H moved out in April because things weren't right. I agreed we had got to a terrible place, but he just left, it was really hard and I struggled to cope, during the time he had gone he lied over and over again about seeing someone else. His phone said otherwise.

He came back in July, it was very difficult although only home for 4 weeks, he had 7 nights out, 2 over night with friends. Phone is still super glued to him. On silent usual thing.

He went on a planned bike ride for 3 weeks. Not very much contact all a bit shit really.

He came home Saturday afternoon. All fine, Sunday he said a friend had been dumped and he really wanted to go and see him.

No trouble but he then decided he would haved a few drinks and come back following day.

Usual no contact returned Monday 12noon. I explained that I didin't think it was fair and that he should spend time with his family. His answer was 'you said I could go'.

It stinks so got up in the night last night and got his phone. It is far to clean, only messages are from me that day. On the Sunday in question there was no phone call or messages to this friend and my head is in over drive. On the up side I have her phone number now - Donna hi if you are on here.

So should I confront him - only to get lies
Should I call her and ask her for her to be honest - hey if she wants my man she can have him.

WE go on Holiday with the family for 2 weeks on Friday so it is going to be a great holiday hey!!!

Not sure what I want I just want the truth.

Thanks for reading, sorry for typo's small boy helping me!!

that a really positive step to take. You have set your own boundaries and if he cannot respect those then you know you can hold your head high and have not done anything wrong.

Are you going to go to relate? There are good at getting you both to see where improvements can be made. And will help you stick to your new rules too.

It's good that you are calling the shots now. Maybe with that shift in balance things will get better - either with or without him.

Just thought I would up date you all. Holiday was up and down. He turned his phone off to avoid Donna. So she phoned/text him on my phone - guess she got his phone in the night too.
Told him to sort it out or not bother coming back home.
My phone broke the next day.
His phone off all holiday got it on last night and text from Donna saying she will think about it?
i went mad! He had offered to talk to her again. Told him her feelings were clearly more important than mine and I will make it easy for him and he can go back to her.
We returned home and I told him to not un pack. We talked alot that night and he phoned her and told her to leave us alone blocked her number etc.
Agreed final attempt at 'family life' He has tried really hard and I am feeling realy positive. Although still early days.
Thank you for your thoughts x

Good luck Eve. I hope he really does put in the effort this time and has no more contact with her (though she does sound persistant!). My DH got rid of his mobile, facebook a/c, email a/cs etc so all her points of contact were cut off (even though I know logically they could contact each other if they wished, it was more a sign to her that he didn't want her to contact him).

We are still a work in progress, had a bad week this week (when I was shredding some paperwork I found an old email that he had sent me during the "affair" period so all the lies, deceit, betrayal all came back and punched me on the nose again). It is a really hard path to go down this staying together etc but hopefully it will all turn out in the end.

Once again, good luck and keep us posted.

counting to 10 good to here you are both still working it through, it is so hard, I just think the worst all the time, and wonder when we do things did she do it better.... hoping this will pass. Time will tell.
Thank you for the kind words fingers crossed for both of us x

When a man gets taken back after an affair it should be under the condition that the wife is now doing the driving and he gets to stay in the car if he does exactly what he's told. He can always opt out of the trip. He needs to understand this and so do you. You have the power after the affair, not him. What have you done with your power, post-affair? How has he understood the balance of power? Does he feel it has shifted?

I have suspicions that my DH is cheating on me too and the mobile phone is crutial. He knows I try to read texts and clears them immediately: I am intrigued about the Sim Card reader: how does that work exactly. Please help. Ta

www.spybase.com/what-phone-file-pro-p-704.html

Oh my gosh thank you: I had no idea you could retrieve deleted messages! wow!