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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Policy of Joint Agreement

5 replies

nerdgirl · 16/05/2003 13:54

It still sounds too dogmatic to me. I think it's the word 'NEVER'. I am always wary of absolutes with realtionships.

BTW, what is the Golden rule?

OP posts:
Skadi · 16/05/2003 18:47

The Golden Rule, if I can remember back to my Christian years was "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" (from somewhere in the Bible). Basically, just a rule...it can apply to anyone. It's not my intention really to bandy words with you or anyone else about the Policy of Joint Agreement. If you think it's too dogmatic for your tastes, fine, don't use it.

I just think the concepts on the website could help a lot of people. For us, these concepts helped put marital problems/issues in perspective in a way that made complete sense and that could actually be dealt with, whereas before, it was very hard to even figure out what was going wrong.

There is so much helpful information on it on so many issues that I think it's worth more than a skim. But, then that's my opinion. ;-) There's a forum there where people would be happy to answer questions that aren't already answered on the website.

www.marriagebuilders.com

I'm getting my arse of this computer now.

ScummyMummy · 16/05/2003 18:52

Er.. baffled here. What are you guys talking about?

nerdgirl · 17/05/2003 12:58

Ah, but how would the Golden Rule apply to a masochist! I certainly wouldn't like any of them doing onto me as they want me to do onto them!

Sorry you don't want to debate Skadi. I just thought it would be interesting to explore this.

Scummymummy, sorry. This thread was continued from the 'No sex please' thread. Skadi and I thought we were hijacking it by discussing the Marriage Builders site. They have a rule called The Policy of Joint Agreement -

"Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse"

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 17/05/2003 13:40

Oh my goodness- nothing would ever get done in this house if enthusiastic agreement was needed. Grumpy acknowledgement that it may be necessary for both of us to do some of the stuff we don't like is about as good as it gets.

Look forward to hearing more!

nerdgirl · 17/05/2003 14:10

I think life would be very difficult for me too living with this rule. Just the act of having to look for agreement on every decision would be a real strain on my marriage. I'd resent it. My dh would resent it. I think it's just too simplistic.

OP posts:
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