Do You think he is having an affair

[Sarasue]

I think my DP is up to something with a woman he works with. In the last few months he has gone from lazy fat waste of space to health freak, he's been re-vamping his wadrobe and generally improving his appearance. We very rarely sleep together as he is always too tired, I don't mind this as when we do it's always good. He has mentioned this woman a few times ( she is married) and they seem to be best buddies.
He goes to martial arts classes that run from 7.30 til 9.30 but sometimes doesn't get back til 11 and says they were just chatting after class. I took the children to the seaside for the day and he text and told me to stay over if I could get a B&B and have the next day to, was he just being nice or did he want the house to himself. I hate myself for doing it but I checked his phone and there were texts to and from here, nothing incriminating but very over friendly, calling her Hun and My Love the sort of thing he puts in texts to me. Am I over reacting or is he up to something?

Have just read through.

Much of what you have said sounds like mid life crisis. Is he late 30's/40ish??

I think they have a bit of a panic that they wont be able to pull any more so they give it one more try just to see if they can!

I would go with your gut instinct - if you feel something isn't right then you are probably right - sorry.

Yes, the old ' tell them the wife's a crazy bitch and will beat you up ' line. Specifically designed so that the OW will not contact the wife and if the wife contacts the OW then the OW will downplay the details. What a tosser.

Hows it going Sarasue?

The things I noticed were:

Moody, either all over me or claiming to be asleep if I texted or phoned.

Friends of friends were saying silly things when drunk "i'm sorry i shouldn't be talking to you right now.." Which made no sense, until it all came out in the wash.

Photos looking TOO cosy.

Poor girl, lucky me!

Message withdrawn

Yes they can missSunny - I haven't used one but have looked into them when I was going through something like this.

The manufacturers dont guarantee it will work with all models but it is worth a try if you are suspicious

I'd have told him I would get the B&B and then go home ~ quietly.

Methinks he's a knob.

It does all sound very suspicious. But did you think he was a fat waste of space before you started suspecting, or after? I don't know how much difference this makes, but I'm wondering whether he is moving on because the respect/love had already started to go, or whether he is trying to play you and have his cake and eat it?

Either way, it sounds really hard, sorry you are going through this. At least you sound like your head is screwed on and you won't take any crap though- stay strong!

Going to his martial arts class is a good idea - I'd wager that he won't be there unfortunately. At least you'll know either way. I have been cheated on by a DP and my gut instinct tells me that the same is happening to you. I'm so sorry that you're going through this - I hope for your sake that nothing is going on, but that seems unlikely. The fact that the OW is scared says it all!!