Things are so crap at the moment. My H left in April after saying he did not feel in love with me anymore (i did post a while back). After 2 occasions of him saying he wanted to make a go of it again and then changing his mind, I am left in turmoil.
I have desperately tried to pick up the piece of my life,with counselling and now on anti-depressants. I have tried to go out, even meeting other men, but can't seem to shake how I feel about him.
He has been pretty rotten to me and keeps asking me to put the house on the market. Blaming me for the fact he has no money (he rents a flat) and crying infront of our daughter because he can't afford to take her out.
I know I have to sell the house but don't have the strength to go through with it. I don't want to be here but feel like holding onto the house gives me some control as he has made every decision about my life in the past 4 months.
Now I find out there is someone else on the scene and feel so physically sick at the thought of it that my hands go numb and the energy drains from my body.
Do I want him back?? I don't think I could if he ever changed his mind. But I still have feelings for him and I'm afraid I won't ever get over him. I am so afraid to see him and avoid any contact with him, verbally or physically; really just to protect myself.
I do feel like I'm losing the plot.......