I remember, not so long ago, being in such a dark place that i wanted to end it all, but the contrast between then and now is unbelieveable.. I really hope by sharing my journey with you, it can can hope to someone else who is feeling like i did once..
In dec 2008, i finally (goodness knows where from) mustered up the courage to flee the severely abusive relationship i was trapped in with my ex p. My daughter and I went to live in refuge for 3 months, before moving and settling our new flat.
I barely remember the day i left and the weeks leading up to it, I was a shaddow of myself, physically and mentally. Ex P had made sure of alienating all of my friends and family and i was completely alone. He is a very smart man, and cleverly manipulated everything and controlled everything i said and did. I loved/love him more than i can ever explain but i knew he was dangerous and beyond help so had no choice but to leave him.
Now, 10 months on my daughter and I are settled and happy, and have so much to look forward to. we have all of out friends and family back (who were never too far away, however bad it felt) My daughter is thriving, and so happy... and We are off to thailaind and australia in oct to travel for a few months, I have also booked a breast augmentaion for a few weeks time, something i have always wanted to do and i know will help wonders with my confidence.
I am still on anti-depressants and i'm still having councilling, but i feel fantastic most of the time and cant believe we finally have the freedom i never thought we would have.
I hope someone reads this and finds hope for themselves.. it was a post on mumsnet which helped me to see ex p for what he really was and gather the information i needed to seek help, and i am forever thankful.