slightly strange one.

[wheniwishuponastar]

feeling not great at the moment...
long story but i got in touch with my mums first husband. via email. he lives abroad. that was all fine. my mum was married for a year, then left him, then he had a nervous breakdown. this was thirty odd years ago. i wondered about him as a child.
some years ago i had a nervous breakdown. i've been having counselling. my mum got back in touch with him recently and found it helpful. so i decided to do the same.
i had meant to mention it to my mum but it didnt feel the right time, so i waiting til it did. but before i did, he told her that i had got in contact. so now i feel strange about it. too much to explain. i feel a little overwhelmed.

[Tanee58]

Ah, don't regret it. Did you get anything positive out of contacting him? If so, that's fine, especially if your mum's ok with it and you have nothing to regret. If anything, you have forged a link with your mum's past and that's good. Most of us don't know enough about what our parents were/did when they were young. It's all part of your inheritance even if he wasn't your dad. Really glad your mum was ok about it.

[wheniwishuponastar]

thanks Tanee, yes that's how i feel about it. yes i did get something positive from it. was a very useful exchange. and it certainly brought up stuff for me to deal with as well! (but more to do with me and my mum)
i've just come back from a really nice evening with my mum, didn't talk about that, but talked about other things, and the first time we had a really good chat in ages. so that is good

[wheniwishuponastar]

p.s. thanks very much for all the support on here, i really appreciated it, and it really did help me get through it! fanks

[Tanee58]

Our pleasure. It's Mumsnet at its best . Glad you had such a good time with your mum. Wish me luck with mine (and my DP - he's sulking again).

[wheniwishuponastar]

Good luck! (I'll look out for your thread)
Sorry to hear DP is sulking, not fun for anyone! i know men seem to find it harder to seek help for depression, its a difficult one.