OK, in order to cut this down from a very long ramble I'll bullet point the main facts!!
I had PND after DD, was a complete bitch to live with, sought treatment it worked I changed completely, found out he was seeing a woman from work but alledgedly they didn't have sex, he left me, came back, I forgave him because of how I'd been, he left again, came back, he managed three weeks, he decided he didn't want us (dd 2) and then wouldn't move out of our house. I begged, cried, tried to convince him to make our marriage work, he wasn't interested?
Now for a bit of a ramble!
So, nearly five months later, I have just moved out of my lovely house, given up my well paid job and moved (my choice) to live with my parents 300 hundred miles away, I no longer cry, have moved on, got myself a job, lined up a lovely house and to tell you the truth, although I still love him, I don't miss him, probably because I live with my parents, I'm extremely busy and need to live on my own to see if I do miss him?
He has now decided he has made a huge mistake and wants to get back with 'us' he wants to move to transfer to the local police here and basically move in with me when I get my own place He still refuses to acknowledge he did anything wrong however as it was only a kiss and texting!! He still makes out that everything is all my fault and then had the nerve to say the following when we discussed what needed to change on both parts!!
He won't come back if I revert to how I was before!
'Things in the bedroom need to vastly improve'! Cheeky twunt!
I can't fault him as a father or a house husband, so I can't complain about him!
Is that man for real? I had PND for gods sake, I was irrational but had a reason, he felt the answer to this was to find himself a bit of stuff! But expects me to do all the changing?
This is what I asked of him - to support me emotionally as yes he is a brilliant father and in the house, but he gives me nothing emotionally, he's like a cold fish! No compliments, no presents on birthdays and throws a card in the Tesco trolley when I'm with him, he forgets how good I've been with his two children from other marriage and how I put up with his loony ex-wifes ravings! How I had to have IVF treatment because of him, how I had a terrible pregnancy and even worse birth, how I tortured myself because I couldn't breastfeed which led to the PND need I go on!!
I've just been down South to finish off the house before the tenants move in, he was supposed to have packed the rest of the house so we just had to move what was left out and he had done nothing, he admitted that he had sat on his arse and watched TV for the five weeks I've been away, how pathetic is that? I think that was the icing on the cake of how selfish he really is and puts his own needs before mine? Our daughter adores him and he is a good Daddy to her, just not a good husband, his own father did the same as he is doing to three different families so is it history repeating itself?
So is he an arse or do I try again?? And should I put conditions on him, he went to counselling but told me the woman told him he didn't need it, yeh right!