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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

what would you do if?

13 replies

satincushion · 15/08/2009 22:54

DS1's birthday and he goes to first match of the season with his friends. DH also goes with his own friends. As it is DS1's birthday when DH phones me just before match starts I ask him to come straight home after match to do the birthday cake thing mainly for the benefit of ds2 who is only 3. (ds1 is 18)

The plan is for ds1 and dh to go to local pub to celebrate (of which dh is partner in) and all their friends too. DH also stresses that it is his best mates birthday as well.

As we have no babysitter(DH had already suggested my mom but she could't)during the phone call I suggest I go to pub for a couple of hours and then he goes for a couple after me. This way we both could have drink with son, plus I have friends in there too. The pub is in my street so no hassles we could just swap over. At this he goes quiet and then says "oh whatever" and the line goes dead.

Ds1 comes home straight after match with a group of his mates and we do the cake/candles etc which DS2 loves. He gets ready and then he goes off to local pub.DH doesnt come home at all after match and heard nothing since. He is obviously in the pub with ds1.

What do you think and what would you do ???

OP posts:
GossipMonger · 15/08/2009 23:14

I would be mightily peed off.

I would lock up, turn off the lights and go to bed and then ignore DH for the whole of tomorrow.

I would book a pub lunch for me and my 2 boys for tomorrow and go and toast my son's 18th all the while pretending DH is not there.

for you.

mrsboogie · 15/08/2009 23:20

I would make him pay.

NonGratisAnusDailyMail · 15/08/2009 23:22

Agree with GM. What an utter twat for behaving in this way. First game of the season does not equal being a total selfish twat for the whole day and night.

Spero · 15/08/2009 23:23

That is just mean. I'm sorry to hear it.

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 15/08/2009 23:32

Go stark raving bloody mad TBH
He would be in for it when he got home (unless very pissed, then I would leave it for tomorrow).

I like what Gossipmonger said. Would work for me.

satincushion · 15/08/2009 23:36

Thanks for your replies. I do feel angry with DH and I just think he has been 'greedy'. I know whatever I say he will probably say I am being too sensitive or that I am over the top ie first match of season, mates birthday etc etc

You are right and I agree with all of you..it is just knowing what to do ...I always end up feeling as if i am the one in the wrong.

I still can't quite believe he didn't come back at all when he promised

OP posts:
satincushion · 15/08/2009 23:39

mycat you are right he will be well pissed by now no doubt. It will have to wait till morning.

OP posts:
satincushion · 15/08/2009 23:40

Sorry to keep venting...he hasn't even popped in...the pub is 1 minute away..literally!

OP posts:
mrsboogie · 15/08/2009 23:44

What a git!! I think you need to be really inventive with your punishment.

Tomorrow just smile sweetly and say nothing until you have thought of how the best way to get him back....

then WHAM!

satincushion · 15/08/2009 23:59

ok racking my brains now

OP posts:
satincushion · 16/08/2009 12:53

Acting normal "cup of tea?" etc not ar all sheepish can't believe the nerve!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
NonGratisAnusDailyMail · 16/08/2009 13:09

Have you spoken to him about it yet? Told him that you are pissed off with him?

JigglyPiggy · 16/08/2009 13:10

if that was my (d)h his night better have been worth it! I would now be on strike as far as he is concerned. No washing, no cleaning no cooking for him. And definitely none of anything else for him!

I would also be organising a fab night out with all your friends. On said night when you are both ready to go and he asks who is babysitting i would smile sweetly and say you are dear and then hot foot it out the front door!

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