how do you deal with this?
At the risk of sounding pathetic...
I was in a verbally abusive relationship for 20 years with a bullying control-freak and eventually broke free. Ex is still causing me problems by messing me about with maintenance and visiting DCs.
Since leaving him, I had a brief fling with someone who - it turned out - was equally bullying and controlling. In retrospect it was much too soon (quite apart from him being a poor choice), but I can't change that now. I needed to feel attractive and he filled that void for a while. However, he had his own issues and the fling was over quickly. But as a consequence he ostracised me from that group of friends and I still feel very humiliated by the experience.
A year on from that I have met someone else who seems to be very nice. We have been seeing eachother for 6 months now and it feels nice to be with him. He is reliable and caring, BUT I am so afraid of letting myself trust him. I am taking my time getting to know him, not rushing anything, all the sensible things.
In parallel to this is relationships with female friends. My exh spent a lot of time telling me that people didn't like me and I still spend a lot of time wondering that people don't like me. Logically, I know that some do and some don't, just as I know that I like some people and don't like others. The conditioning of 20 years of marriage is hard to break free of, though.
How do you deal with is? does anyone have advice?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
lack of confidence/feeling insecure
4 replies
AliasSmithorJones · 10/08/2009 13:40
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.