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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

am i the only one who gets no downstairs action ?

26 replies

nolickyforme · 07/08/2009 17:00

starting to realise that im alone in that my dh never once in 12 yrs of marriage has gone down on me
do i smell ?

OP posts:
diedandgonetodevon · 07/08/2009 17:02

Have you asked him why not?

Original poster
nolickyforme · 07/08/2009 17:05

yes ,he just doesnt like it
but is always asking for head which he never gets as im thinking why should i when he wont go near me

OP posts:
ridingjoker · 07/08/2009 17:46

if he doesn't like it you cant force him.... same as some women dont like giving head.

fair do's you dont want to return when he wont do it.

but if you knew before you married he didn't like it... then why grumble after 12 yrs.

however you have gone from giving him head... to giving him none. so he has had a change from what he was expecting.

but..... perhaps he would be more keen to at least have a look in that direction if you gave your lady garden a new horticultural design for him to inspect..... or invite him in the shower and ask him to make a design... or wash .. or... whatever. it may be a mental hygiene things for him... so doing it in shower would banish this mental block for him.

MuthaHubbard · 07/08/2009 18:04

my ex boyfriend just didn't like doing it...though he did do it once or twice - his excuse was he didn't really like it and had to be really in the mood to do it.

to be fair, i loved doing it to him so it didn't stop me but like rj says - i knew he didnt like it so didn't force him.

it is naff when a guy doesn't like doing it!!

LynetteScavo · 07/08/2009 18:08

I thought from the thread title you meant doing it on teh sofa.

StirlingTheTired · 07/08/2009 18:33

and me Lynette

screamingabdab · 07/08/2009 18:35
Sad
HecatesTwopenceworth · 07/08/2009 18:39

It's unfortunate, but it's not fair to try to make someone do something they don't want to do. Just as I am sure that if he asked you to do something you didn't like and you felt very strongly that you didn't want to do it, you'd expect him to respect your feelings.

I haven't had sex for so long I've healed up and now look like Sindy down there! But way back when, dh didn't like it either. He had a half arsed attempt once and was so clearly not happy that I told him to stop. Because also - do you want someone doing something they dislike doing? That's no fun either.

DollyPS · 07/08/2009 18:57

Does he use his fingers at all down there hen as that does help you know as I had an ex like that and wouldnt go near there at all but he had lovely fingers.

Also why wait 12 years to moan about it as it would be in the bedroom the first night why not, not now.

ipiratethief · 07/08/2009 19:01

i have thrush i cant read an more.

sorry, that's not helpful is it!

I don't understand why you haven't in all these yrs had a problem with this till now?

Original poster
nolickyforme · 07/08/2009 19:13

i dunno why now its just im missing my ex really (long story) he was just the most fantastic lover ,very giving .
me and dh dont have much sex maybe once every 2-3 months and its so very boring ,he really hasnt got a clue dispite years of telling him what i like he still just humps away for a few minutes and thats it over and done.
i just dont fancy him but i fancy it if you get me

OP posts:
Original poster
nolickyforme · 07/08/2009 19:16

ive never forced him to do it ,i remember when we first got together he did try it but it was so cringy and bad i told him to stop,he couldnt of been more relived.
i give him a bj maybe once a year for his birthday or christmas

OP posts:
FabBakerGirlIsBack · 07/08/2009 19:23

That is just sad

Overmydeadbody · 07/08/2009 19:27

Gosh that is sad.

He sounds like a very lazy elfish lover. All men can potentially be trained to be good in bed, sounds like he's not even trying to make any effort.

candyfluff · 07/08/2009 19:33

sounds like he cant be bothered to find out what you like

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 07/08/2009 20:12

I think that is a bit harsh.

He doesn't like it.

Should a woman be made to train to like giving blow jobs if she didn't like them?

DollyPS · 07/08/2009 20:22

there is other ways to enjoy it though and not just the humping part either. why are you thinking of the ex hen is it because the sex is getting worse or less these days and he has pop in there so to speak.

time for the sex talk ne thinks and now and ask him outright if he even likes sex and if he does why is it only 2-3 months and nowt inbetween. what is his likes and dislike and no holds barred either and it shouldnt be that hard if together for 12 years hen.

Does he kiss and cuddle you at all. Is this what your missing and he isnt like that with you.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 07/08/2009 20:27

Sounds like he doesn't like much though. There is not liking something but being open to other things - trying stuff out - being a fun lover, then there is just boring/selfish/lazy in bed. Poor OP.

Have to say my DH had never done it before me, loves it now. As well as lots of other things ;-)

Original poster
nolickyforme · 01/12/2009 20:30

reviving this thread i started a while ago - i have news
there is licky for me lol

we tried again and geusss what ??? - he loves it
fuck a duck !!!

one happy lady right here

OP posts:
Bigbadmummy · 02/12/2009 21:30

what happened nolicky?!!! Why the change of heart in your OH?

Well done girl

I showed my hubby this thread and his response was "tell her to come over and we will both do her".

Ahem.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 02/12/2009 21:41

great thread !

bbm...

do you and your dh make a habit of "helping out" unfortunate ladeez who are missing out on downstairs action ?

am not hinting, btw, am quite happy here

Bigbadmummy · 02/12/2009 21:48

habit would be way too strong a word.

It has been known

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 02/12/2009 21:51

do you advertise ?

"roll up, roll up, get yer fanny fun 'ere..."

Bigbadmummy · 02/12/2009 21:57

PS, DH says "any chance of a mince pie"?

as for advertising, well certainly not on MN, no

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 02/12/2009 22:00

< scared >