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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So my husband of 2 months called me a 'Lazy, Fat C*nt and is no longer living with us...

7 replies

swiftyknickers · 03/08/2009 13:42

Pretty good going hey!

I am at a loss as to what to do really.

Some history- have been together for 11 years and got married 2 months ago. We have a DS who is 4. Have had a terrible year. I had a termination in Feb and he responded by registering on internet sex dating sites.

Lots of hurt and tears but thought we had put it all behind us. Got married, lovely day, honeymoon etc and then last Monday in a row he called me a 'Lazy Fat Cunt'. I am devestated. Anyway I told him I would not share a home with him and he is now living elsewhere.

He has booked couples counselling for us and it starts in 2 weeks. The thing is there is no remorse, not even a sorry...nothing. He owns restaraunts so works crazy hours so my lovely boy hasn't noticed really that he isn't around and I want to make this as painless as possible.

I know he is having a bad time at work but thats no excuse is it? I am overweight (size 16) but my weight has never been an issue or so I thought. But clearly is...

Anyway I am not sure why I am here just wanted to vent...

xx

OP posts:
hunniesugarplum · 03/08/2009 13:49

no on, no on at all. You mention your termination, do you think this is what he wants counselling about? i suppose willingness for counselling shows willingness to work on things but that really is an unkind thing to say

dcgc · 03/08/2009 14:01

Just read your post and although I have nothing useful to say, just wanted to write something. So sorry it's not going well, but on the plus side, the counselling may make him see that what he said was totally out of order. Big hug.

MagNacarta · 03/08/2009 14:03

Poor you, at least he's prepared to talk. A size 16 is not overweight btw - it's average.

pseudoname · 03/08/2009 14:12

you have done the right thing.

abuse gets worse over time. you may as well stop it now.

others with practical suggestions will chime in soon.

just wanted you to know that.

MamaLazarou · 03/08/2009 14:15

You poor woman, that is an awful situation to be in.

Good luck with the counselling - I really hope it works for you.

Big hugs darling x

swiftyknickers · 03/08/2009 14:21

thanks everyone. I hope that counselling will break the cycle of abuse really. Everytime he is stressed at work or looses control over something he takes it out on me.

Now I am no angel but he took the one thing I am insecure about and attacked me with it verbally. Pretty unforgivable.

Also we are two opposites. He is VERY disciplined and I am very laissez faire and he see that as a weakness instead of a positive.

I have secured investment this week to open my own business so I can't be that much of a fat lazy c*nt!!

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 03/08/2009 14:27

Poor you

I don't think this is a size issue at all, it's just an easy way to insult and hurt someone. If it hasn't been an issue in the past, then it's just something he's chucked in there to hurt you. That doesn't make it ok though. Sounds like he has some anger issues. Hope the counselling helps.

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