Where do I start? Any help/advice will be greatly appreciated .... I am 45 with a 17-year old son (from earlier relationship)and work full time. I have been with DP (also 45)for six years, living together for four. DP has daughter aged 10 who is with us every weekend from Fri to Sun eve. Relationship was good (obviously) at the beginning and thought I'd found a good man. He seemed very caring and I liked the fact that he made decisions - completely opposite to XP. However, few niggles set in from the outset. First time at family gathering (my Mum & Dad's Wedding Anniversary) DP got drunk and insisted driving car with his daughter in back (I made sure my son travelled with my Mum & Dad). Ended up in hedge and I insisted on driving. Shortly afterwards, attended further family gathering and same thing happened except this time he got out of car but refused to get in passenger seat telling me he was embarrassed to be driven by a woman. Both children were in the car this time as we were staying at a hotel. He's also driven his car into a wall whilst drunk, with me in the passenger seat.
DP had bad start in life. In a nutshell, he was abused (beaten) by his mother and stepfather, ran away age 11 and lived in hippy commune. Heavily into drugs/alcohol for most of life. Gave up drugs at the age of 30 and only gave up the alcohol about 3 weeks before I met him, despite the fact I was led to believe he had given this up years before. Although alarm bells were ringing I still ignored them as I thought things would change.
As time has gone on DP has criticized my friends, didn't want to meet go out with them always found an excuse. Gradually drifted away from most of them. Found out that he gets extremely stressed very quickly, can't take a joke, likes to be centre of attention, will only discuss something when he's in the mood to talk. I have been subjected to verbal abuse on numerous occasions normally when he has had a stressful day and then had a drink. I have given him several ultimatums but never been strong enough to carry them through.
We argue about each other's children and he has admitted he says things about my son to wind me up. I look after his daughter every Saturday while he works and have recently told him that I need some ME time and am not prepared to do this every weekend when I work FT. Although he has accepted this, he still keeps throwing it in my face when we argue intimating that I am being unhelpful.
We attempted counselling - but he told me he didn't like the counsellor because he could see she was going to pick on him.
I'm no angel but am normally a happy go lucky person full of life but my bubbles have disappeared and I can't keep treading on eggshells. There's so much more but would bore you.
Can anybody offer me any help? I feel too much has happened now to carry on but should I still fight for the man I know is inside?