I am feeliing that there has been a change in my marriage and I am not sure how I feel about it

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

Or even if I can be bothered to try and fix it.

I tend to do self-destruct and this could so easily be another one of those times.

maybe you think too much about stuff?
why dont you plan a lovely family day instead of negative thoughts?

what's up?

Tell us how you're feeling, Fabby.

I don't know how I am feeling.

Had my hair cut yesterday. Cried the whole time. People looked.

DH said he was bored at the weekends, said we had had a shit day. I had thought it was okay though I was in and out with the food shopping to do, hair appointment and opticians with my DD, so DH and I hadn't seen each other much.

I told him he seems happier in the week and it was bad that I didn't know what to say to him.

We went to sleep without talking anymore or a good night and I got up early to be on my own.

DH came down a few minutes ago, said hello, I smiled at him, looked at him later and he is now in the kitchen with the kids.

Because I have to go out every day I like to stay in at weekends whereas he wants to go out. Fair enough.

The kids are going to his parents today for a sleepover and Dh wants to go out.

I want things back how they used to be but it hasn't been the same for a while and I don't know if it ever will.

what's changed?

Sounds like you are feeling quite down again. Are you seeing a counsellor yet? What's the latest with that?

Could you tell DH how you are feeling - maybe a proper conversation tonight when the kids are away?

Me feeling and knowing that this was forever.

The depth of my feelings for him.

I know I am just in a bad place at the moment and shouldn't read too much into it, or think, but it is hard.

I need some space and it doesn't happen or isn't enough.