Not quite the same but my brother is a controlling person and was a controlling husband. Needless to say he is no longer a husband but obviously remains a father. Unfortunatley for my fantastic sister-in-law (ex now but still very close) he refused to ever acknowledge there was an issue and when she continued to raise the issue of going to counselling for help to salvage the marriage he literally could not see what the problem was. Doesn't give you much help in terms of your husband I'm sorry.
I don't know your husband but hope he is better than my brother at acknowledging his faults and being able to deal with them and hopefully rectify them.
My brother lost the best wife he could have had due to his ignorance and pig headedness. She was a fantastic mother (still is of course), wife and friend. He will never find anyone else like her and I often think he regrets the decisions he made and the state his life is in now. Obviously he would never admit this. Why would he if he wouldn't even admit to his own faults.
She asked for many years, on many separate occasions for him to go to counselling with her but he honestly just refused to see that the issue was with him.
It sounds like your husband was offering a small olive branch last night. Let's hope he realises by your response that he needs to do more than that if he wants to win back your love, trust and friendship.
I hope you do sort it out with your husband even if he has left his run very late, however, continue to remember to value yourself and look out for what is best for you and your kids. Whatever decision you make will be the right one even if at times it doesn't feel like it.