and sad and guilty....DD2 is wonderful as is dd1. I generally feel as though Im coping OK with the new addition with the odd meltdown moment. I had antenatal depression so do worry about the blackcloud coming back but so far so good.
I found out 2 weeks ago that my wonderful, beloved Granny has terminal cancer. My mum is closely involved with helping her make decisions about treatment and looking after her. I have tried to go and visit (Granny and Mum are 2 hours away) as much as I can to support both of them and to see Granny.
I am generally OK and cope when dds are up but am so sad and also do not have the help and support of my Mum as I did with dd1 (I couldn't ask her to help me as she is so upset herself and her energies are focussed on Granny).
If Im honest I don't really feel as though I have the reserves to look after Mum and Granny, although I have said I will, as I feel I need to focus on DD2 and DD1. But I feel so guilty for this. My Granny has done so much for me and I so want to help her. Also, and this is completely bonkers I feel guilt for having another child and being happy about it. (I find dd2 wonderful (as is dd1-) as though this has caused her illness (like some sort of one in one out system).
Sorry for the general moan, I guess Im just feeling sorry for myself and torn about what to do. Anyone?