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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

F*** buddy/friend situation

42 replies

whattodoidontknow1 · 02/07/2009 08:19

I'm annoyed with myself, I've been good friends with this man for 2.5yrs ish, we've slept together a couple of times as F buddy's, which at the time was fine & amazing sex. But after the 2nd time, I decided I couldn't do it anymore & stopped the f buddy part and we were just friends.

Then we stupidly slept together tues/weds night + now hes not talking to me ? I have no idea why hes read the 2 txts i sent him but not replied..

What do i do here? jst leave it be now? not sure what to say or what ive done wrong ? !

any ideas?

OP posts:
sarah293 · 02/07/2009 08:19

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HecatesTwopenceworth · 02/07/2009 08:20

what did the texts say? not of the bunny boiler type I hope?

HecatesTwopenceworth · 02/07/2009 08:21

riven - someone you have sex with but aren't in a relationship with. Mututal scratching of an itch, iyswim.

Except often one person wants more than just sex and is only doing it in the hope the other will love them and it gets messy!

sarah293 · 02/07/2009 08:22

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whattodoidontknow1 · 02/07/2009 08:22

whats bunny boiler type ?

1st txt said "Thanks for last night, hope you have a safe journey x" he was travelling that day.

2nd txt said "How nice of you to have replied!!! lol"

OP posts:
HecatesTwopenceworth · 02/07/2009 08:24

second text was your mistake. Sounds desperate.

Do you want more from him?

HecatesTwopenceworth · 02/07/2009 08:25

oh sorry, bunny boiler type - fatal attraction!

ilovesprouts · 02/07/2009 08:25
Hmm
whattodoidontknow1 · 02/07/2009 08:26

lol

no i dont want more from him, it was a mistake sleeping with him again despite the amazing sex

we're better off friends + i know that, but hes ignoring totally ?

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 02/07/2009 08:27

Sounds like he's no longer a fuck buddy, but someone you have developed feelings for - or at least your texts are giving off those vibes.

Just leave it and wait for him to contact you.

sarah293 · 02/07/2009 08:28

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squeaver · 02/07/2009 08:29

Op - leave him for a couple of days then speak to him face to face. You two need a clear the air session.

Hecate - you are the urban dictionary of MN

whattodoidontknow1 · 02/07/2009 08:30

Riven I know that, now. I've no intentions of doing it again + fwiw i dont want a relationship with him hes not the settle down type. As I said i hugely regret sleeping with him because its ruined the friendship that was there it seems..

BIWT thanks i'm not doing anything, if he wants to contact me he can but i'm done.

OP posts:
whattodoidontknow1 · 02/07/2009 08:31

Squeaver hes up the country now with work. wont be back down this way for another 2-3wks, so my only way of contact (which im not going to do) is email, text, call.

OP posts:
ridingjoker · 02/07/2009 08:39

i'd leave it be now, he'll probably get in touch once he's back from work.

if he doesn't then you have lost a friendship due getting sex mixed up again i'm afraid.

if you try and pursue him to meet face to face this could hugely backfire on you too.

i know if i'm after some space, someone contacting me to confront them with the situ is my worst nightmare.

give him space. no contact for a while at all,at least while he's working away, you might get your friendship back.

lilacclaire · 02/07/2009 08:49

The first text isn't really asking question that requires a response tbh. Its not one I would respond to anyway, would have read it and thought 'thats nice' and then put phone away.
If I got the 2nd text though, it would strike me as slightly clingy (sorry).

I think you have developed some feelings for this guy and you should try and distance yourself a little so you don't get hurt.

missmelly · 02/07/2009 09:12

I frequently dont respond to texts straight away, can sometimes take days to get back to people, especially if it was to a message like your first one. He might have just been busy..
how long did you wait before sending the second one?

whattodoidontknow1 · 02/07/2009 12:45

First text was in the morning.

Second text was the next day

I'm regretting it all, and think ive lost a great friend here.

OP posts:
missmelly · 02/07/2009 12:59

meh, you might be wrong.. I dont think your texts were that bad. He's probably just busy ..

whattodoidontknow1 · 02/07/2009 13:00

Well i've delivery notices on + it said delivered almost instantly so he'd read them both but not replied, either way i'll leave him be, he knows where i am.

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Dior · 02/07/2009 13:10

If he is a 'great friend', you won't have lost him. The second text was unnecessary though. Just leave him be and if he is a real friend he will call you.

HolyGuacamole · 02/07/2009 14:23

Agree with Dior. And you know not to go there again. If all you fancy is a shag, maybe stay away from pals/mates and acquaintances so as to not interfere with friendships etc.

We all make mistakes though at some point in our lives and mistakenly shag someone we know we shouldn't have shagged. Hindsight is a beautiful thing

whattodoidontknow1 · 02/07/2009 20:43

Thanks, it was him asking, for 3 days, if he could "Come round for coffee " and I eventually let him

Now, he's blanking me. It kinda feels like an ego trail for him, by me txting him I'm chasing him?

I've not txt since yesterday, and nothing, hes online but not talking

OP posts:
cheekysealion · 02/07/2009 21:00

would you like to me more than his buddy??

whattodoidontknow1 · 02/07/2009 21:04

Nope. As I said, I regretted sleeping with him, and am happier as friends. But seemed to have messed that up

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