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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

advice wanted

27 replies

redpoppy · 16/05/2005 13:33

Changed my name incase of dh.

Been married for 6 years. He is incredabilly selfish, in all aspects of our relationship. He spends all day if he's off in the room with the computer in, it feels like we lead separate lives and if i mention this he goes off on one. I said to him the computer would be the end of us if we got it and he said no'. I am fed up of bringing up our kids single handed, i work part time aswell, i do find it hard to talk about it, and over this weekend i have really felt like leaving, but have no where to go, because my family live elsewhere and i don't wanna leave this area becuase of schools and i really like my job and the people, was just wondering for future refence would the council help me in housing me if i walked out and said our marriage had ended? or would they say i made myself homeless?? what would happen with money?? Because i know he wouldn't leave this house. Am confussed and need advice.

OP posts:
nerdgirl · 16/05/2005 15:31

I had a friend in a similar situation Redpoppy. She found it helpful to keep a diary. Highlighted all the time he was at work, at his hobby, with his mates, with the family, with her etc.

She said it actually shocked the hell out of him to see how little time he spent with his family in black and white. (actually blue and red - she made a pie chart!! ) Men are visual creatures though!

bubbly1973 · 16/05/2005 22:16

i think the computer is probably just one of many things that are going wrong in the relationship...

what if you suggested bringing the computer downstairs to the living room...is that possible? at least then he is in the same room as you all

do you know what it is he is doing on the computer all the time?

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