why do i feel sick that i contacted my ex boyf sis behind my current ex p back :(

[missylea]

My current exp have been having problems for months as he is a control freak we have a ds together. I have done nothing but think about my ex p i had before i met my current ex p. He texted me a few months ago a he new i had a baby with my current parnter and i told my current partner that he had texted as i didnt want him thinking that i was texting another man behind his back! Well he has ended up at my ex p house about 5 times wanting to do damage to him i suppose! Tonight i rang his sister ( i had a few glasses of wine) now i wish i hadnt. I just wanted to say that i had no part in my ex turning up at his door and that i did not send him up there. I think basically i wanted to know about my ex and she told me he was on holiday with his new girlfriend and i said that was good as long as he was happy that was the main thing.... now i feel so so guilty that i rang her behind my ex p and ds back. I dont really know why i did it??? I suppose i feel so unloved and i know that he had texted me months ago saying he never got over me and think that is why i rang his sister but she says that he seems happy at the minute. I know tomorrow i am gonna be really down cause of what i did with wine in me that i wouldnt normally do??? What can i do to ease the guilt????

sorry, too many ex's for me to follow who said what to whom and why?

you rang the sister of your ex ex P behind your current ex p's back?

I'm not really sure why you should feel guilty about it.
If they are both ex status then you are single and can call who you like, no?

I know but my current ex seems to have this hold over me obviously as we have a ds together and we have tried to make things work but they havent but why do i feel so guilty about the man before him and why am i thinking about him so much. I should just be contentrating on my boys and myself and not being interested in other the other man especially a previous ex!
I am frightned that he will find out and that he will not love me anymore even though we arent together. I know this sounds really crazy but this is how i feel.

missy they are both exes and they are both c*nts. STOP this silliness. You don't owe either of them anything. You are just feeling lonely. Look to the future and the time when you have a man who makes you and your boys happy. The first step to achieving this happiness is STOPPING with the guilt and the caring about these fuckers. They are BOTH HISTORY!

Sorry I have had wine too. I just want to shake you. You are worth more than them. Unless you act like it you won't get treated like it.

xx

thanks mrs boogie, logic goes out the window with a few glasses of wine!!! I could kick myself now that i even rang her as i know she will tell him, although i wasnt saying anything about how i felt about him i was just talking to her and wanted her to know that i had nothing to do with my ex going to his house thats all! Infact i dont even feel anything for him. yes you are right with a few glasses of wine and a shitty relationship you start to think the one before was even better and it wasnt really. Only that he bought me more things I know what your saying mrs b and you have been there for me through all my threads and i really appreciate your advice and help.
thank you x