My DP wants a 3some

[BFwantsa3some]

Hi, im in a new relationship with a really nice guy, but he really wants me to have a 3some with him.

i am afraid if i do and i want things to go further i will never get the image of him and the other person out of my head.

He seems really really keen on this, and stupidly i ave said i am up for it, when i am not completely sure about it.

He wants me to get one of my old friends who i used to sleep with when i was drunk to have a 3some with him because i told him i had had 3somes with her before, but our friendship isnt anything like that now.

sorry, now justread all the posts. sorry he cleared off. what a dick.

like silverfox said, its lucky you found out his intentions before you did anythin you would regret

you did the right thing by saying no if you wasn't comfortable with it

Hmm. Had he said anything along the lines of 'If you have sex with me I'll be your boyfriend?' Or had you told him that you only had sex with people when you felt a relationship was moderately serious? If neither of these things were said before you had sex then he's not necessarily a dick, just someone who hadn't intended a serious relationship and didn't think you did either.

I made it clear a casual thing isnt what i wanted, he also told me that he was over one night stands and wanted to meet that special someone, and had talked about things we can do in the future, he seemed to be quite serious (As can be in the first throws of a relationship)

He even fucking talked me into having unprotected sex with him, how fucking niave ad stupid can i be?

Apparently he doesnt usually sleep with people unprotected unless he intends a relationship with them

stupid stupid stoooopid me

Now I have been used and need to get checked out asap ffs

Oh dear. He sounds a prize knobjockey (men who want condom-free sex are not to be trusted, ever, unless you are actually trying for a baby). Hopefully there will be no harm done ie you won't have caught anything nasty but next time remember that your wishes and feelings matter just as much as any man's and don't let anyone pressure you into things you don't want to do. It's fine to be single, and much, much better than being in a relationship with a dickhead.

Two things.

1. I think that if you have to ask a bunch of strangers whether you should try something sexually, because you are not sure about it, the answer should always be NO. Not sure means you have serious reservations for whatever reason. IMO, f you are not 100% up for it, don't do it because your reservations could become grudges and come back to bite you ( and any relationship) on the bum!

1. SGB, are you really telling me (and all the other MNers in stable and lomng standing relationships) that we are never to have condom-free sex with our DH/DPs? There are many of us who do trust our partners you know! Some of us have only ever been with that one. I have never used condoms in nearly 30 years of our relationship and I really do think that after all this time I can trust him! If I didn't there wouldn't be much point in having a relationship IMO.

Sayit: Fair enough, I shold probably have added 'on the first date/unless you have made a major commitment to exclusivity'. I appreciate that fluid-bonded monogamists often don't use condoms (though some monogamists do as other methods of contraception are not suitable for them, of course...)

But newly-met or recently-met men who don't want to use condoms... definitely not to be trusted. They;ll be crap in bed as well because they are fundamentally selfish.

Thanks SGB. I thought that was probably what you meant but didn't want to put the words into your mouth.

And fwiw, I agree with that sentiment and would probably say even longer than a first date. Wait until you are certain that you are both wantin an exclusive relationship.

It was different when I met DH.I was much younger, (still at school) and sex was not an issue for a couple of years! I don't imagine too many people wait that long these days!

DH and I always wanted a 3some when we were younger, we never found anyone and I am so glad we didn't as now, older and wiser, It would be a big issue to me I think.

The thought of one still is interesting but would NEVER do it, its not something I could handle, (DH with someone else) and as he ever so kindly suggested he could just watch, lol ... my post babies body is not sometthing i want to share with anyone but him

I never have sex without a condom (polishes halo) because I do not engage in monogamy.

(halo falls off with loud crash) Apart from that one time with DS' dad, the result of which was DS...

i do love SGB's terribly brisk, no nonesense sex advice. tis brilliant. should write a book. i mean, should i ever want to ask a question about etiquette for an orgy, i know exactly who i would ask!

My guy is very nice, but would still love a threesome. Has to be with another woman though, who has to be attractive. Says he doesn't even mind joining in he'd be happy to just "watch" us! I just laugh at him and he realises this is going to stay in fantasy land. I think it's a common bloke fantasy though.