does anyone else not really have a really nice father and daughter relationship.....

[mum2samandalex]

growing up i was always a real daddy's girl but as i got old i sort realised he can be a bit of a dick. My parents were divorced so my dad was only really a weekend dad although i did see him etc hes never really done anything for me.Hes just never really stood up to the father image. Hes never been protective of me, hes never been really proud of me or affectionate.Maybe i watch too many films but when i watch father of the bride i just think why cant my dad be a bit like that.

Clarice you may find the stately homes thread supportive. I know I have. I had been physically, verbally and emotionally abused by my parents and siblings for the whole of my life and I have found the ladies on that thread to be a great source of support.

It is very hard to stop wishing for/seeking the approval of parents when you have never had it. It leaves a large hole. I am learning now to stop wasting my emotions on people who do not want my love (or, some might say, deserve it), but concentrate on my little family, and my friends.

I know that my DH is going to be all those things you list to our DC, OP, and I take great comfort in knowing that history will not be repeating itself in this family.

Thank You Jambutty.

I strongly suspect aspergers in my dad, and in some of the fathers described on here - emotionally unavailable, no empathy, inflexible beliefs, lack of affection, etc, etc.

When I was very young, I had a partner who was violent & abusive towards me & my dad did & said nothing about it - just one example of how he was with me. I'll never forgive him for not protecting or defending me, even if my suspicions about aspergers are correct and he couldn't help it.

He's old now & we see each other infrequently & have a superficial relationship - I'm sad it took me so long to realise his treatment of me wasn't 'normal'.