Ok, this could well be the straw that broke the camel's back. This is not the only reason to finally call it a day (as some of you may recall from other threads).
Bit of background:-
H has been depressed for nearly 2 years, he had never been before and it came out of the blue. As this time passed I persuaded him to get help (counselling and ADs) and supported him through it. Unfortunately he became increasingly emotionally abusive towards me (his depression was my fault, I was told not to cry around him as I was making him worse, he basically wanted me to support him completely whilst giving me nothing back). Then the anger started and I found myself dealing with a man who would scream very aggressively in my face over the smallest thing.
After a year of this I had a bit of a breakdown back in Feb. But having gotten myself a bit of counselling I am now really together, confident and, well, happy (apart from about this, obviously).
Did I say that I was pregnant throughout most of that? Well I was. She's now 6 weeks old and lovely.
H moved out for a while, but having been thrown out by the guy he was lodging with (for being too untidy and treating the place with no respect), I agreed to let him stay in ds2's room under certain conditions. We are not "together" and I do not receive any emotional support from him - and any I offer is on my own terms. I do feel in control of the situation.
H helps with the housework as well as working full time, and professes to love me and want me back, but finds it hard to demonstrate that love. We are civil to each other and occasionally even enjoy each other's company, but not very often.
So - to my point (sorry about the essay) - I do all the nights with dd (not a problem and I wouldn't have it any other way) as well as looking after all three of the dcs throughout the day. I do my fair share of the housework as well.
The only time I really have to myself is when I'm in the bath (a luxury that I will not give up!). Ok, this seems like a really small thing, and it never bothered me hugely, but H always interrupts me at least once to ask something that could have waited, or to find something to do in there, or he plays loud music, or whatever. It's not a major problem really, but it would be nice to have the time completely to myself.
So, during a conversation about how he could "win me back" I asked that while I was in the bath could I be left uninterrupted for the whole time...
You'd think I'd asked for him to give up work and watch the DCs fulltime while I went on holiday for a year. He was offended by my request. He asked what I would say if he had asked for the same thing. I told him that he had, just 2 weeks ago when he said he wanted an hour every evening to go jogging. And that not only did I say yes, I was enthusiastic and encouraging about it too! He said that you never get time off from being a mother. I told him he was a patronising twunt.
He then apologised profusely, but when I got up to go to bed he added, "But what would you have said if I'd asked for some time just for me?".
So, he has demonstrated that he 'doesn't get it'. I feel he has no respect for me or appreciation of what it is I do all day (and all night). He says he loves me, but he can't show it.
In all honesty he has been a much better man in the past 2 months, but I fear this is the beginning of a decline to previous behaviour. I feel like he's just revealed a glimpse of how he really thinks of me.
Am I overreacting? Is this just a lack of sleep and hormones?
Am I a mug?