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Original poster

The morning after pill, if you were asked how would you feel.

49 replies

Martha200 · 23/06/2009 07:27

First time ever, last night we were left doubtful over the effectiveness of our contraception. DH and I have 2 children, but he suggested that tomorrow (today) I have the morning after pill. I don't think I want to, and he said will I be smiling so much if I am pregnant (was also surprised too!) I am really surprised by his reaction tbh, not saying anything positive if I were (we spent a year deciding if we wanted a third and came to the conclusion probably not, but if it happened it wouldn't be the end of the world!)

OP posts:
islandlassie · 23/06/2009 11:46

Yeah natural not volentary.

Anyway OP I'm sorry if i tarnished your thread, was only trying to tell you how i would feel. I have used the MAP in the past myself until i realised what it did and decided that for me, I could no longer use it but would never think anything of it if anyone else did.

Original poster
Martha200 · 23/06/2009 11:56

Thanks ladies for your posts. Making it quick as the young one has awoken.

DC2, is not 18mths, so this decision has been a really recentish one, and even then never felt like a set in stone answer, for example: DH has not got around to selling the travel system he said he would on ebay! DH talked about a vasectomy a little while ago, but not followed it up (I nearly asked them to sterilise me when I had my last section but realised I wasn't prepared for that then) and that's the main reason (might sound silly!) for not having a third, as it would mean a third C section.. all the rest of it we would adapt as one does, we kept saying for the plus side when we went through it and then decided on perhaps not!
(our other children were very 'fate' based too, though that was with trying, it was a if they happen they happen, if not, then not, so I kind of feel a bit weird actively doing something about it to not happen, if that makes sense, probably not.

I am mid cycle, and I think memoos post really rings in my head (I also have a friend this happened to too).. if it didn't work then of course I would get on with a third section.. I am feeling pretty crappy about it tbh, crappier than I would have thought really.

OP posts:
thesilverlining · 23/06/2009 12:09

my two pennies....

Its your decision to make in my opinion - your body....agree with others who mentioned the vasectomy question - if its that important to him that you don;t get pregnant he should be marching himself off asap......

I would be a little at his attitude too - you made a decision earlier at a more rational time that no 3 although not actively sought would not be a disaster if it occured - so his about turn without warning is a little unfair and suspect

thesilverlining · 23/06/2009 12:11

sorry x posted there!

still think "if in doubt do nought" might apply here - how resntful might you feel after taking the MAP?

burningupinspeed · 23/06/2009 12:16

But not taking the MAP doesn't mean you will be pregnant - and taking it doesn't mean that you won't be. You used contraception when you had sex so that shows where either you or your DHs intent is. That contraception may have failed. To me it is then logical to have the 'back up' of the MAP. I am not sure why you would resent taking the MAP any more than you would resent using a condom (or whatever) in the first place.

Unless there is a real longing for that third baby that you've not really been aware of? In which case the issue is a bit bigger than contraception...

callalilies · 23/06/2009 12:25

I don't think your DH is unreasonable asking you to take the MAP, but I can understand why you might not want to.

It might be technically contraception, and in my mind I believe that to logically be the case. But I do think put in that situation, I would probably hesitate myself and not take it quite as readily as using standard contraception. It wouldn't feel the same.

clumsymum · 23/06/2009 12:40

agree 110% with burningupinspeed

HecatesTwopenceworth · 23/06/2009 13:10

How would I feel if I was asked to take it? Well, I wouldn't take it. nuff said.

But I am very broody - and it sounds like you are too! I think you need to have a further talk with your husband.

LadyOfWaffle · 23/06/2009 13:15

You cannot compare MAP with condoms! Sorry to be blunt but MAP carries it's own risks. Aside from the emotional feelings (very different from chosing to use contraception IMO) there are the physical aspects. I am shock TBH people are saying take it when OP isn't sure... it's not like having sex and chosing to use a condom or not, it's a bigger decision than that.

LadyOfWaffle · 23/06/2009 13:18

www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/morningafterpill.htm

spicemonster · 23/06/2009 13:41

What risks LoW? That article you linked to says:

"Is it dangerous to use?
Not at all. If anybody tells you that it has 'lots of side-effects' or 'makes you really sick', don't believe them."

I think that it's not entirely the same as a condom but neither is it an early abortion. Personally I think if you're going to take risks with your contraception, it's a good idea to have had the discussion with your partner beforehand about what you might do if you conceive, rather than after.

But that's by the by.

burningupinspeed · 23/06/2009 13:43

To be fair, LOW, people are giving their opinions, I don't think anyone is telling the OP what to do. All hormonal contraception comes with a risk, it is up to the OP to decide what to do. Some have said they would take it, some have said they wouldn't. What a shocker.

Who compared the MAP to condoms?

LadyOfWaffle · 23/06/2009 13:48

These risks -

If it doesn't work, could the tablet harm the unborn baby?
We simply don't know the answer to this question.

No research has shown any increase in abnormalities among babies whose mothers took the morning-after pill. But past experience does show that other hormones taken in early pregnancy have harmed children.

Just think whoever takes MAP should be armed with all the facts, it's not as simple as a pill that will stop you getting pregnant. Infact it alters "the lining of the womb, so a fertilised egg can't embed itself there". THey go one to say - "it won't work if you're already pregnant" but depends on your opinion really of when you are pregnant or not... if that makes sense?

Sorry OP to hijack abit, just want anyone to make an informed decision.

LadyOfWaffle · 23/06/2009 13:49

In ref. to this " I am not sure why you would resent taking the MAP any more than you would resent using a condom (or whatever) in the first place"

pigsinmud · 23/06/2009 13:53

Do you not want to because you want a third or because you don't like the idea of MAP?

I would take it. We were using contraception , not sure if it worked therefore take MAP. Using contraception = not wanting a baby - take MAP. This is how I would look at it for me! If it happened to me I would not be keen on a 5th child, so I'd try to make sure pregnancy was avoided by taking MAP.

Just realised I've seconded buringupinspeed!

burningupinspeed · 23/06/2009 13:53

It wasn't a comparison between methods of contraception, the OP doesn't say what contraception she and her DH use anyway, but of the reason for using contraception in the first place - prevention of pregnancy.

Of course anyone taking the MAP should have the facts, given by a doctor or pharmacist. They don't just throw it at you and tell you to go away!

I rather think that if the OP objected to the MAP on moral grounds then there would be no post, no discussion, as she would have her decision already, just as I doubt we'll ever see islandlassie post about deciding to take it.

Altering the lining of the womb is something the contraceptive pill does also, as a 'backup' (I suppose) if an egg is released.

burningupinspeed · 23/06/2009 13:54

...and I've just repeated what schilke has said

FioFio · 23/06/2009 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hawkmoth · 23/06/2009 16:31

I couldn't take it as my migraines make me a high risk for synthetic hormones.

makingdotoo · 23/06/2009 16:33

I took the MAP, and ended up pregnant anyways. We were horrified, decided on a termination, then decided we just couldnt, got excited to keep the baby, then i miscarried. Probably as a result of the MAP, but who knows, thats an assumption.

But because of that, if there was a chance i could be pregnant, i personally wouldnt take the MAP again.

lou031205 · 23/06/2009 19:49

I wouldn't because I believe that conception is the start of life.

lou031205 · 23/06/2009 19:51

"If you don't take the MAP you are basically saying that you wish to be pregnant."

I disagree - it is saying that you will allow nature to take its course.

burningupinspeed · 23/06/2009 20:37

But the OP and her DH don't allow 'nature to take its course' as they use contraception in the first place!

lou031205 · 23/06/2009 21:15

Yes, but once that has potentially failed, you then have a choice as to whether you take action to halt the proccess, or allow nature to take its course. That being either a natural period, or pregnancy.

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