Should I be mad at my neighbour

[bouncy]

Hi, Need some advice please.

I left a key with my neighbour for emmergency's (IE I get locked out).

Well I came home from work yesterday to find my washing not out on the line, it was folded and ironed and left on the dining room table. My neighbour bought the washing in when it rained and was bored so she did it.

I left her house feeling a bit uneasy. My BF thinks I am over-reacting, but I think she had no right to come into my house and take it in and then use my iron to do it, she must have been in my house for at least an hour. I feel she has crossed the line.

Thanks

Hmmmm.... tricky one! I reckon that she genuinely thought she was doing you a favour. I think I would have been perfectly happy for her to have got the washing in and left it in the basket indoors but I agree about feeling uneasy that she'd done the ironing! For a start, she must have looked around to find the iron & board.

Ooooh, I don't know! I think you need to handle it very diplomatically if you want to remain on friendly terms with her. Maybe just thank her for bringing the washing in but say that you'd really prefer that she didn't do the ironing.

Id say thanks very much and next time could you please do the vacuuming as well and change the sheets on the bed? ( is she old and lonely by any chance?)

LOL, mmm! (And cook tea and clean the windows.)

Agree with Soupdragon about the looking for the iron etc. "I'm a bit fussy about ironing" might be diplomatic (or might offend her if she's that way.)

God, imagine being so bored you'd do SOMEONE ELSE'S ironing! Poor woman! Maybe suggest she gets a job?

Where do you live, can I move in nextdoor to her please !!!
Perhaps, you could pretend to be realy greatful for her bringing it in, but comment that you feel awful letting her do your ironing too !!
If she is old and lonely, perhaps she thought she was doing a good turn, and might want to get more friendly with your family.

i dont think she did it just to look around your house,she could have done that without the ironing,i think shes just bored and wants to feel needed maybe her children are not longer living with her?i would buy her some flowers to say thank you and another day pretend to have lost my keys and get the spare set from her

Know what you mean I would hate that to happen but on the other hand could we exchange houses???

Wow - hard one. I see your dilemma. On the one hand you have a lovely pile of fresh washing ironed, but on the other hand she has come into your sanctuary without an invitation.

If you feel cross with her, is there anyone else that you can leave the key with? Do you feel that strongly about it to ask for the key back? You must have liked and trusted her enough to give her the key in the first place?

Agree with Whymummy - it sounds like she just wants to feel needed, a bunch of flowers would be a nice gesture, rather than getting angry with her. I know how you feel though, I wouldn't like the idea of neighbours coming into my house uninvited.

I wouldn't feel comfortable with that either and I am a very open person. If it was me worried about your washing and bored I would have brought it into my house, ironed and folded it. Not into yours. I would have then left you a note under the door to tell you to pop over and pick it up.

Of course I would love her to live next door to me and after the first time she did it probably offer her a cleaning job.

Bouncy, I find that freaky. What's she like, ever done anything else...odd? Think I'd leave me key with someone else from now on.

Bouncy, agree with the others that even though this was probably kindly meant, it's a bit freaky to think of her in the house for that length of time.
Do you have a burglar alarm that you could strategically start setting? That would deter her from doing anything other than having the key for you, as intended.

Difficult one, it almost 'smells' of stalker. Like everyone says is she bored and lonely? Maybe if you're stressed and have a young family she probably thought she was being helpful.

My neighbour is always washing his cars, I pray for the day he offers to do mine!

Marina, your burglar alarm idea made me laugh How old is you rneighbour, Bouncy? Less stalker-ish if she is an old dear, don't you think?

I agree with meanmum, I would have brought it into my house and done it, not yours (in a pigs eye - I can't even do my own ironing, let alone someone elses .....) so it is a bit weired.
OTOH, at least you'd have no qualms about asking her for a massive favour some day, since she seems very eager to please.

A bit freaky, yes, but I would have been delighted

not an easy one, I would (as already suggested) invent an excuse to get your key back and keep it and put in somewhere else.

got it

I agree with WHYMUMMY. I would pretend I've lost my key and get it back off her and think of someone else to give a key to. I'd appreciate someone coming in and doing that for me but I would also feel like it's an invasion of my privacy.

She is probably feeling lonely and not needed in anyones life and by helping you she is feeling a part of something again but I would rather have my privacy than a neighbour entering my house when she pleases.