DP is being totally unreasonable and I want to vent

[dilemma456]

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It sounds like he's afraid to look after DD by himself. I understand why you're so pissed off.

He's being unreasonable, but could you say that you will sort out the day arrangements, but he has to arrange being home, least he could do etc etc etc.

Did he say why he couldn't do it? Is it that he can't or is that he won't??

I think you have given him plenty of warning, but like most men, he did not take heed (sorry to generalize chaps).

Has he phoned back yet?

I think you should stand your ground and tell him he needs to be there to look after his DD - but meanwhile have a contingency plan - does dd have a friend she could stay with - i know you feel she is too little, but it may be your only option and if she is with another little girl it may be easier.

I take it there are no family close by who could stay the night, rather than paying someone - and if you have to pay a childminder - get DD to pay it.

what an arse

I am SURE however, that if you have friends, they won't mind one night - it isn't that much extra to have 1 more body snoring in the house...

Totally understand why you're angry - he's such a prat for doing this

If your dd's comfortable with one of your good friends, she'd probably be happy to stay overnight - it'd be an adventure for her.

One of my friends had dd overnight when she was 2, while I was in hospital having my second baby. She loved it.

This is exactly what my DH has always been like. The times I've given him dates well in advance, then he goes and books his own work things regardless

I think you did the right thing telling him the ball was in his court now and childcare for the one night is his problem.

Stand your ground.

OOOh I am sooo fuming on your behalf.

I told DH in April that he had to be available yesterday to take DS to his final A-level exam and pick him up again two hours later (we live miles from any public transport). Suddenly, the night before the exam, DH announces he has a meeting in fecking London!

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don't you live with him? How frustrating. My DH doesn't listen - drives me crazy.

I don't understand. Why are people telling the OP to ask friends to have her DD and get him of the hook? Would you not be mortified to say that her own father can't look after her for a night? It's bloody daft - I would do absolutely nothing. Tell him he was warned months ago and that she will be waiting to be picked up by him and he can bloody well look after her. This is his child!!

grrrrrrr....

I agree with you mrs b...

OP, you say you were waiting for "an answer" from your dp. Well, imho, it wasn't a question you actually asked him. You were informing him he needed to be there to look after your dd. He needs to make the alternative arrangements, not you.

I do wonder at some couples if you don't mind me saying. Do people not talk to each other any more? How could this go on so long without being definitely sorted?

Like I said earlier, the OP needs to stand her ground.

I am still angry on her behalf.

I agree with MrsB and Puppy

Why was it even a "question" that needed to be answered by him in the first place ?

Surely you should just have informed him of his responsibility and if he ducks out at the last minute, for whatever reason, it is up to him to sort it out.

Seriously, I would be embarassed to ask a friend for a sleepover in this situation. A child has two parents.

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not even for his dd ? very occasionally ?

anyway, glad it is sorted, you must be relieved