Help - DH got cross in bed

[lizardqueenie]

Hello all

1st time posting on here, I am not yet a mum but joined as I think the support and views on here are really helpful.

Sorry if this is a bit graphic/ embarrassing
Im 27 DH is 33 and our sex life has been a bit up & down in the last 6 months-basically its clear that I have a higher sex drive than him which is ok & I accept that.

Problem is that its not really the lack of frequency that bothers me so much and I have tried to be understanding& we now have sex about twice a month..however Friday night was a bit strange, husband and I were having some foreplay, and it hurt a bit, probably because I wasn't quite ready, i felt like he was going through the motions a bit (sex by numbers!) so I said (in a nice voice) uch that hurts a bit could you do it a bit more gently, and he snapped "i am being gentle".

He has behaved in bed like this a couple of times before where i have felt like he is almost going to lose his temper and like i am being a burden asking for us to have sex which is obviously not great, we have not been married for 2 years yet. anyway on Friday in the end I felt really upset and almost used so rather than have an argument about it with him whilst i was stark naked i just let him get on with it and faked it which i never have done with anyone. The fact that it hurt though has left me feeling quite horrid about 1. our sex life and 2. myself.

Any advice of where I can go from here would be really appreciated.

Sorry just realised when I wrote "ouch" I must have accidentally inserted a smiley. A grimacing one too, how Freudian!

You have to talk to him- not in bed but out of bed. Maybe he feels inadequate- especially if he knows you are randier. he might feel that you were criticising him- although you didn't mean it like that.

Faked it? orgasm, or just the fact that you were participating when you weren't turned on?

In either case- do't. Things will only get worse.

Thanks very much for that - I know you're right it is one of those things we have to talk about- the longer I leave it the harder it will get.

Faked it when it came to orgasm & the fact that I was into it because when he spoke like that I just coudlnt relax- which just made me feel quite horrible afterwards. I thought this isn't a 1 night stand why can't he be a bit more caring rather than touching me like he's fixing the car or something.