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Relationships

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Original poster

How often do you and kids see your mother-in-law?

53 replies

SPARKLER1 · 11/05/2005 14:13

Haven't seen mine in weeks and weeks. Dh never bothers much with her, never phones her or visits unless I nag him so much he goes to keep the peace. I see or talk to my mum nearly every day but dh is not close to his at all.
I feel bad then because MIL is not getting to see dds very often then.
I suppose I ought to pop round after school today with them to see her but don't really want to go. There's never any conversation when we go round I seem to be the one that struggles to keep chatting to avoid the awkward silence. Whenever I talk to her about dds she never seems to be interested in them just answers by saying that her other grand-children have done something better (other grand-children are dh's sisters's kids).
I know she is going to ask how dh is as well and I have to watch what I say about the fact that he isn't fussed about going round to see her.
Grrrrrrrrrr families!

OP posts:

suzywong · 11/05/2005 15:16

daily, we live with her
but she goes back to Malaysia for 4 months of the year.

We've only been living with her for 9 months but we plan to get a bigger house with separate kitchen and living rooms for us all and make it a long term arrangment

fastasleep · 11/05/2005 15:18

Mine's fantastic! Love the woman... we see her more and more, I stayed over there last weekend and we're going again this weekend for swimming and beach walks....... Pity about my own mum but nevermind!

MrsWood · 11/05/2005 16:19

Once a week she takes our dd (22 months) for the whole day so we're free to do whatever until late Aaaah, bliss! These are the times I'm really glad I get on with my mother in law .

Kelly1978 · 11/05/2005 16:28

Not MIL, but dp's mother anyway. Never. His family are Indian and still haven't really accepted our relationship and so his parents have yet to meet their 7 week old grandsons.

Hulababy · 11/05/2005 16:59

DD (age 3) sees PILs at least once a week, as they look after her on a Tuesday during the day. We also then see tem at weekends, perhaps averaging every 2-3 weeks at least.

We are very lucky in that we get on with both sets of parents very well.

suedonim · 11/05/2005 17:06

About once a year, sometimes twice, as we're in the outer reaches of Scotland and she's in Kent. I get on better with MIL than with my own mum.

I'm prevaricating about having my mum to stay atm. I know I ought to be the dutiful daughter etc but she wears me out and puts everyone else into a bad mood.

eidsvold · 12/05/2005 00:05

used to see my mil about once a month with dh or when I wasn't working dd1 and I would go visiting. Now - have not seen them for almost a year - obviously because me moved to the other side of the world... she has not seen dd2 except for photos and I miss her - mil was our biggest fan - dh, me and dd1 - she is brilliant and we get on really well.

lou33 · 12/05/2005 00:06

never

kama · 12/05/2005 00:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

eidsvold · 12/05/2005 05:19

lou - I felt like that about my ex- mil - one of the many positives of the divorce

bizzi · 12/05/2005 09:32

As little as possible, she's a self centered twisted bitch. how nasty of me!

Feel very sorry for dh though,he finds my distaste of her blunt crude arrogant ways understandable but afterall she's still his mum.

nikcola · 12/05/2005 09:32

never seen her would never want to

oliveoil · 12/05/2005 09:36

My mil looks after dd1 and dd2 when I work 3 days, but dh drops them off so I don't see her but I phone in the evening to confer about feeding/naps/tantrums etc.

See her every weekend, she is a star. I wouldn't be able to work without her help.

nutcracker · 12/05/2005 09:36

Never and thats just the way we like it.

Nemo1977 · 12/05/2005 09:37

at least once a week sometimes twice..however we harly ever see my mother

dropinthe · 12/05/2005 09:40

Once a week normaly-she's v ill at the moment with emphasema-a consequence of her 20 a day silk cut habit of forty years!

albert · 12/05/2005 09:45

As little as possible, which is quite easy because she lives in Brazil

melrose · 12/05/2005 09:51

Mine died the year before I had my little one. She was a nightmare when we got nmarried, interfering in everything and sometimes feel thankful she is not around as I think she would have been a nightmare with DS. God how awful, can't believe I just said that out loud!

golds · 12/05/2005 09:58

Last time I saw mine was Christmas, we moved further away from them and they refuse to visit us as it was our decision to move further (BTW its only 2.5hours away).

Having said that, as I have been poorly recently, dh is taking the kids down this weekend, its nice for the kids to see their cousins etc. I myself am going to my mums to be looked after, not that I need it as such, but hate being in the house at night on my own, I speak to my mum everyday and lately she's been round helping me everyday.

It will probably be Xmas again before I see the in-laws which suits me fine, being ill has given me a good excuse not to go.

Original poster

SPARKLER1 · 12/05/2005 09:59

It's amazing how unpopular MIL's can be. LOL . Just think ladies it could be us one day!!! Our daughter in laws might be typing away on here about us!

OP posts:

Gwenick · 12/05/2005 10:07

MIL - Never - she died 6 months before I met DH (when he was 23) so sadly she never got to live to see any of her grandchildren

FIL - haven't seen him for just over 5yrs - and he's never met either of our boys...............but then he does live in Zimbabwe.

elibelly · 12/05/2005 10:26

Once a year, which is one too often frankly. She lives abroad and invites herself to stay for a few days after Christmas. She doesn't like kids (DH was an accident and therefore an only child) was a teenage mum so feels she's too young to be a grandmother and has a succession of toyboy boyfriends who are always emotionally needy and broke. She's also a cheapskate and is totally wrapped up in herself.

My mother is a gem and I speak to her almost daily and see her at least once a week. DH gets on with her too.

Sadly both my father and FIL died in the last couple of years.

ghosty · 12/05/2005 10:59

A couple of times a year. She lives on the South Island and so it is a 10 hour drive or 1.5 hr flight.
We talk once a week though.
We get on very well, but I would hate to live near her. She is a bit of a hermit ... likes her space and solitude. She can only cope with us to stay for a couple of nights at a time and when she comes here she stays for 3 nights and is itching to get back to the sticks ... We love her to pieces but at a distance.
I have seen FIL (divorced from MIL years ago) once in 16 months and that suits me fine. I hate him and his bloody awful brassy peroxided breast implanted trollop of a wife. They came to Auckland for 2 weeks last month and didn't come to see the children ...

muminlondon · 12/05/2005 11:04

Unfortunately never - three of dd's grandparents already passed away. She's seen pictures of one grandfather though - one day she's going to ask where he is.

suedonim · 12/05/2005 14:35

Ghosty, what a marvellous picture you conjure up of your step-MIL!

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