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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need divorce advice

2 replies

abigproblem · 13/06/2009 20:57

Our realationship is dead. seperate rooms for 4 years, no mutual respect. DH is controlling and verbally abusive. he claims if I leave he will fight for custody despite having no interest in DC 4 and 6. never does parties, swimming lessons, homework, joins us on days out at weekends. went away for 1/2 term he had lie ins everyday and I took them out on my own3 days. i just want to start again and not be treading on egg shells all the time. things will get worse when he knows and I just feel like packing up in hols

OP posts:
howtotellmum · 13/06/2009 21:27

just so your post doesn't go unnoticed.

I have no experience of this, but feel for you.

What next? See a solicitor, see the CAB, get your finances sorted and in order.

Have you anywhere to go? Family? friends? Can you afford to rent?

Not sure what to advise- others might suggest you stay put in the family home.

Best see a divorce lawyer asap.

Alambil · 14/06/2009 21:36

0808 2000 247 - national DV helpline; they'll tell you all your rights and support you throughout it all

You may not need to leave the family home - they'll help you find all that out

Don't believe him about taking the children. All abusers say that - they know it'll keep you too scared to do anything....

Usually, unless you are unfit as a mother the children will stay with you due to you being the main care-giver, so don't let his threats scare you - he can spout hot air all he likes, it ain't what usually happens (he'll have rights (for him and for the kids) and contact - but not full "custody" usually)

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