Affair resulting in a child

[SFC80]

Not sure if this is the best place for this question, but I'm looking for advice.

I've been with my parter for 10 years. We have children together. He had an affair and it resulted in the other woman getting pregnant. The little girl is 2 now and my partner will soon be applying for contact.

Does anyone have any experience of this type of situation? Any ideas on how we can go around contact?

The ideal way would be to treat the situation as though it was a typical "step-child from a previous relationship" situation but I feel I may not cope with that due to the nature of my partner and this other woman's previous relationship.

I would be interested in hearing how anyone established contact like this. Did your partner visit the child in the mother's home? Were you involved a lot more from the start? What boundaries did you put up from the start and made the other woman aware of?

Thank you for any advice in advance xx

OP I think you are being a wonderful partner and are being very reasonable, however in the interests of the other child and your own dcs I think you may have to have a round table talk between the three adults.

To reply to your comment Jasper I have made sure I have always been polite and courteous to dsd's Mother. I am not the type of person to cause a scene and I'm not nasty.

Plus I would never lower myself to that level.

Posieparker I didn't include in the post, we all communicate via Email inbetween visits and at drop off/pick ups during them. There's no hiding from people.

Us deciding OW would have no contact with my H in the beginning was purely to get the ball rolling with contact with as little hurt and angst as possible on all sides. Once things settled down, that stopped.

We all talk amicably now.

Wow, really should have read page two before posting.

A Big congratulations to you OP, sounds like your dsd is lucky that it's you and not someone else who would block visits with anger and resentment. As lucky as she is, she is not as lucky as your H....I hope he appreciates all that you've done.

Take Care!

SFC80
you are wonderful example of how people should conduct themselves in such a difficult situation.
I am full of admiration for you