I just need to talk about this for a minute, and can't talk to anyone in RL.
Do most people have a One that Got Away?
I met M through work a few years ago. We worked together quite closely on a piece of work for about 18 months. I can honestly say that I have never completely clicked with someone the way I did with him. It wasn't a romantic or flirty thing, especially to start with. We just really really clicked. It was actually incredible.
We became quite close friends and that's all I wanted, anything else didn't occur to me. I just knew he was really special and the connection between us was special and I wanted him to stay in my life.
It became clear that he also felt strongly about me, and as the project came to an end we got closer and closer. I know he felt a bit more and by the end I was starting to feel a bit romantically towards him as well.
Nothing ever happened, at all. We haven't seen each other since, although have been on and off in touch occasionally. Our lives are completely different. I have one DC and another on the way. He was only 22 when I first met him, and nowhere near the same stage in life as me. I'm very happy with my DH, we have a great life, and there are no regrets.
It's really just that I wonder. It would never have worked with M, timing and all sorts of things completely wrong. But the connection was so strong and based on all the right things, not the normal stuff that a workplace flirtation or affair is based on (I know). We were great friends first and had a real basis for a strong relationship. It could just never happen.
I'm not especially sad about it, as I say I'm very happy as I am. I don't even think about him very often. It's just I am very sure that if things had been different, M and I would have had something really amazing.
I had quite a vivid dream about him last night which has just got me thinking about it.
I don't need anyone to reply necessarily, I just needed to tell someone!