Is this verbal abuse?

[HoneySocks]

My husband is having a go at me tonight and has just left the room after shouting at me for about an hour - i just ignore him totally as he does this a lot and then changes after a bit to being nice again. anyway just walked out of the room saying 'when you are older you will be an old slapper and i will look at you and think what a stupid c*t you are, what a silly c*t you really are.' i want to cry but i know i am better than all this and why get upset? we have two little girls and i have decided not to go despite four years of this as i couldnt bear him to have the kids part time. anyway would like any response please.

mumonthenet - think you are right, have tried telling him its not on but he takes no notice. am reluctant to leave and take the kids etc though.as you say, am not too bothered by him as is just hot air mostly but that means he is getting away with it really as am not leaving, not fighting/arguing back at all.

dittany- thanks for book titles will def read them.

You may nto be too bothered by him, but what are you teaching your children?

Honeysocks

You write that your Dad was also like this; well what you've seen in your own childhood is what your DDs are seeing now. You learnt your Dad treating your Mum in an abusive manner was "normal"; small wonder therefore as an adult you chose a man of a similar type.

This damaging cycle is being repeated a second time now and your girls will also learn the same damaging lessons re relationships if you do not act. They will become emotionally damaged by this man; they will grow up thinking that this is "normal" behaviour within relationships. After all, we learn about relationships first and foremost from our parents. What did yours teach you?.

Do read the books Dittany has recommended.

To anyone who thinks they might be in a verbally abusive relationship and doesn't know what to do, I have found the following very helpful: www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Types/verbal.htm Also for further detail, Patricia Evan's books, 'The Verbally Abusive Relationship' and 'Controlling People', and another website:
www.tearsandhealing.com
Best of luck x