AccioPinotGrigio - very very good advice.
I did something similar when I lost my libido due to illness for about 18 months - I really wanted to do something for DW even if my libido was not there or hardly there.
I set about initiating when ever I could possibly face it. Some of the time I could barely walk but still tried.
I talked to DW about sex, how I felt and made it clear that although I could not really face or even do penetrative sex - I still wanted to kiss and cuddle and even if I could not perform. I told her I had been sweeping it under the carpet and I wanted to stop doing that.
I wanted DW to have physical as well as emotional enjoyment even if I was not completely up to it. I just asked her not to put pressure on me to perform and not to be offended if I did not reach orgasm.
Holding hands, making an effort to dress nicely, making dates to go out to lunch and enjoy being with each other wthout the DSs was a huge help.
On the fantasy side we rang the changes a bit, not necessarily limiting ourselves to bed time or the bedroom, trying to be more spontaneous on some occassions, or building a little bit of expectation at others. Yes, I agree, the imagination is an important factor.
What happened in the end was I did enjoy it emotionally and occassionally physically and then as I finally dealt with my illness the pysical side came flooding back too - over the last few months in my case.
chipmunk1 - as long as you explain to DH what you are prepared to do and what you are not ready for yet (e.g no penetration) could still enjoy intimacy (e.g kissing and cuddling) while still giving your DP almost all of the emotional and physical pleasure that you used to share. I am sure that if you did this he will feel very loved again and make you feel loved too in return.
I emphasise that it has to be on your terms though - just doing it out of a sense of duty or enduring sex for DP's sake is not a sustainable solution. Although I agree just doing it can help make the desire come back as well.