Op, I read your thread yesterday and it struck me that you don't actually want advice so much as wanting everyone to tell you that he is wrong and you are right. In one sense,it is not unreasonable to expect some help from him on the housework front,however, you don't come across as someone who is prepared to listen to his POV or to respect his feelings about it. I am not saying thay he should not help you, or that the tidying and cleaning should never get done in the evenings.Just maybe not every evening or to the extent that you want.
I was trying to explain what I mean about the important things in life and tbh, not doing a great job so I decided to check e-mails. When i didso, I found the following that a friend had sent me. It soays what I was trying to but in a much better way than I could.
I agree with others that your DH should not have continued to rant at you when you asked him to stop, but maybe he feels like that about the cleaning you are nagging him about and didn't see the difference between what he did and what you do?
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 hours in a day are not enough,
remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of wine...
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large
and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into
the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas
between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was
full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the
jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else He asked once more if
the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the
empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the
important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends,
and your favourite passions;
things that if everything else was lost and
only they remained, your life would still be full."
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
and your car.
The sand is everything else; the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no
room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you
spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have
room for the things that are important to you."
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
Play another 18.
Do one more run down the skislope.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the waste disposal.
Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine
represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you
that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a
couple of glasses of wine with a friend."
Share this with a friend - I just did!