Help! What do I do about ex-h appalling behaviour?

[littlemissworry]

Would really appreciate some advice re ex. He has financial worries and is blaming me for it which I don't think is fair - I walked out on him because he had not been good to me. Anyway, this evening he phoned me up and threatened to kill himself as he owes money he can't pay and I've destroyed everything. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't discuss it. I even offered to pay his bill. Then, half an hour later he rings again all nicey nicey. Emotional abuse really. But do I let my children go with him if he is this unstable?

Do you have a legal agreement about his access to the children? I think it would be perfectly reasonable to insist that he has only supervised access at present as he has made threats of suicide ( he may not have any intention of actually harming himself but he might say or do something which scares and upsets the children).

No there is no legal agreement at the moment but I think it might be a good idea. He has just rung me again and told me that my parents are manipulating me etc etc. I am SO upset.

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tell him that all contact must be through a solicitor and only with regards to contact times

Remember at ALL TIMES - he is an ADULT and is responsible for his own behaviour. NOONE else is responsible for his behaviour what so ever.

Ok, thanks guys. It is the same old story and I should be used to it by now. Blaming me for everything and trying to make me feel responsible for the mess. WISH I could stop feeling guilty.

Why get upset? He's clearly a loon and you are better without him. I think if my ex had done this to me it would have just reinforced my belief that I was right to leave, as it was my ex was pleasant and just kept asking me to come back and being very sane which was much more upsetting. Tell him he's too unstable for unsupervised access to the children and think yourself well rid of him.

I'd also put the phone on silent and get a phone where you can see who's ringing and just let it go on the answerphone if it's him until he starts behaving himself.