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Relationships
Disillusioned
sykes · 28/04/2003 15:26
I have a great dh but two small children and mistakes on both parts have left us rather disillusioned and wondering where the spark has gone/if it will come back. I realise relationships change but I'd love my dh to see me as he used to and vice versa (pre two children and 13 years together). Relate, w/ends away etc, etc, but is anyone here a white witch?
sykes · 28/04/2003 16:15
Come to think of it, so have I ... but you're getting married so you both must be doing something right. We still have brilliant times together but familiarity can breed contempt as well as lots of other cliches. How do Posh and Becks manage it? I'm not convinced it's soley the bank account.
whymummy · 28/04/2003 16:28
hi sykes,were going through the same thing at the moment and our first step is a couple of days away just the two of us,i always enjoy dhs company a lot more when we`re alone,wich is not very often so our in-laws are coming down to babysit,hope you can find an answer,good luck
mum2toby · 28/04/2003 16:30
The wedding has just given us something to talk to each other about!
I must admit the earth doesn't move for me when dp walks into a room, or touches me. And we have a lot of 'issues' that seem to crop up every now and then. Lies that have been told etc etc.... we decided to forgive and forget a lot of things, but have we really forgiven and forgotten?????
Maybe we've just worn each other down...
Oh how romantic!!!
Rhubarb · 28/04/2003 16:52
I think spells only work psychologically. As much as you try spending time together, try also spending time apart so that you don't take each other for granted. Go out with friends more, join an evening class, and encourage him to do the same, you'll build up more respect for each other. When you do arrange a night out together, try arriving at your venue separately. So you go to a friend's house to get ready, etc, and then it feels more like a date. Also, the best tip ever given to me was, flirt with them like mad when you are on your period, so that by the time you come off they're really interested! A little teasing does no harm and it encourages them to make a bit more effort too!
Tortington · 29/04/2003 12:42
thats sealed it for me - am in 13 year itch marriage too
must be that then
i dunno the answer my thinking is edging towards pushing him down the stairs to collect the enormous insurance.
but i wouldnt want to start doing the relationship thing all over again would youdo you feel isolated? are you fixating on HIS problems that before you had kids you would ignore or not bother about becuase you were off doing something else?
maybe the answer is time, i hear DR who has a good handle on that one - i cant make you have more time but maybe you need YOUR time.
above is my ideal world and i wish i could follow my own soddin advice!
Meanmum · 29/04/2003 12:47
dh and I always connect a lot more when we are on holiday and away from the day to day pressures of life, work and children. We talk about everything including the day to day issues we have but they are much more easily resolved while we are away. This tends to happen in the car on long journeys to be honest.
I find one good thing is not having the TV. Well ours is fixed now but when we didn't have it or it wasn't working we spoke more because there was nothing to take our attention away from each other and we also ended up in bed a lot earlier. It all helps.
sykes · 01/05/2003 15:24
I do love Custardo's replies. I think it's just one of those things that people (or some) go through. We're going on holiday soon so that should be good. Interesting about thinking about his problems more than pre-children - if I understood properly. I do have a lot of friends I see and have numerous nights on the sauce - maybe too many and need to grow up a bit. We're both a bit rung out as my mother is v ill with alzheimers and his mother has been diagnosed with leukaemia. Roll on the weekend.
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