Is it weird to visit MIL with DS even though I'v split up with DP?

[Supercherry]

I always visit MIL weekly with DS. DP and I split up this week. He has just phoned me saying he doesn't think I should visit MIL as it's weird.

She loves to see DS though and we've always got on.

I can't imagine my sister in law ever stopping visiting my mum if she and my brother split up.
They see each other several times a week and get on great. It would be weirder if it stopped and it would kill my mum not to see the grandkids.
Good on you, you are definetly doing the right thing.

I have a better relationship with my MIL than my H has.
I have continued to take the DC to visit in the 3 months we split.
Actually, The worst single fact about my parents divorce was my mother and Her MIL never talking again. Made it almost impossible for my Nana to ring me at home and visits became very rare, as only saw my father 1x a month so visits to nanas were even sparser.

I think it's very grown up and nice.

Ds and Grandma haven't split up though, have they?

Stupid to think it's weired. It isn't but his attitude is.

I see my ex-MIL every other week - she collects my son from school for me and then we have a coffee and a catch-up. She's an extremely important part of DS's life and it's nice to have her to talk to about him (I don't have a mum).

Didn't even give it a thought that it was weird or inappropriate ? Hope exDH's new woman doesn't think so.... my DP certainly doesn't.

So many positive responses Thanks everyone for putting my mind at rest that I'm doing the right thing.

It's really nice to hear all the lovely stories. I'm really hoping that things can stay amicable for DS's sake. MIL is fab and a child can't have too many people to love him can he?

MIL works mornings and evenings so I've always gone round in the afternoon once a week and then I drop her off at work on the way home. And you're so right warthog we do all benefit.

Bigchris I think it is a permanent split, I've given XP so many chances, he's not going to change and his attitude is making us both miserable. And you're right, we've not even discussed access yet.

Shabster and Norksinmywaistband thanks for sharing your views too, it's good to hear things from different perspectives.

DS is MIL's first and only grandchild so she dotes on him. I'm pregnant too and DC2 is due the end of October. As I will be breastfeeding, no-one will really be able to see DC2 for any length of time, to begin with, without me, will they? We had arranged for MIL to come and help for a week while I'm getting used to having 2 DC's. As XP won't be there I'm going to need all the help I can get.

I think it's not just you who benefit but also your DC.

When my parents split up (in the seventies!) I went to see both sets of grandparents with my mum every other week. We'd have lunch with her mother, then tea with her PIL, who lived round the corner. I think she saw more of them than my father did.

But it wasn't only about keeping in contact; it was also enormously reassuring for me. It meant that divorce wasn't about breaking up the whole family, and kept more of my normal life together, which was a very precious thing. So, please, do keep going!

supercherry, your ds is very lucky to have two such wonderful people in his life

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Slightly different circumstances, but I didn't see my Dad's parents for about 5 years when I was a child as they knew about my Dad's affair and threatened to tell my Mum if they saw her so Dad kept us all apart as a consequence we didn't go to any family gatherings and lost contact with all of my cousins on Dad's side.
When Dad died we all got together again and we were all really sad that we had missed out on so much of each others lives all because of the so called 'grown ups'.
That's mainly why I bend over backwards to include MIL and FIL in the dcs lives.