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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

okay, very personal question, almost too embarassed to ask.......

43 replies

lemonmuffin · 20/05/2009 20:38

I've been a regular for a couple of years but have namechanged cos i'm a wuss!. Too embarassed to ask any friends in rl so thought i'd try here.

Ummm, how long approximately would you say it takes you to climax from sex from beginning to end? It seems to take me forever and sometimes i end up faking it or we'd be there all night!

Any answers gratefully received.

OP posts:

poshwellies · 20/05/2009 22:54

Maybe it's all the cider we've consumed..cough.

BusinessBarbie · 20/05/2009 22:55

Anything from about 3 minutes to a couple of hours of valiant work- have occasionally just given up!

DoNotAnnoy · 20/05/2009 22:57

I cannot (rarely) climax through penetration alone.

What works for me is simultaneous penetration and clitoral stimulation. That can be quick - depending on fram of mind.

DP has just learnt (from internet apparently ) to find my G spot. My word...that could just be a couple of minutes. I never new that was what finding teh G spot actually meant.

BCNS · 20/05/2009 23:05

must be the cider lol..has to blame it on something.

howtotellmum · 20/05/2009 23:07

Does the G spot actually exist? some people think it is a myth.
Another embarrassing question- if you have post child birth surgery- down there ( things all tightened up- do you think your G spot is affected or even removed? I ask as I have had an anterior repair- and wondered if mine has now gone - if not, it's hiding.

howtotellmum · 20/05/2009 23:11

www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/enjsex_gspot.shtml

it's all here- or not, as the case may be.

themoon66 · 20/05/2009 23:13

Cider?

kiera · 20/05/2009 23:26

howtotell - post birth surgery might have affected the nerve-endings. I know around my C-section scar I still have some numbness although over time it has gradually improved.

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 20/05/2009 23:30

It seems to vary in people (not just women) depending on how horny you are feeling, what stimulation you are getting, whether or not you have been drinking, whether or not your partner's technique is crap in tune with your particular responses...
But there are few things more off putting than a bloke giving you two licks or one tickle and going, blimey you take a long time to come

Unless it's a bloke who's on top humping and pumping away for hours....

BecauseImWorthIt · 20/05/2009 23:37

Personally I always shudder when I see those ads for men, for Viagra or other stimulants, saying that it will keep them hard for ages/hours.

Why the bloody hell would I want that?!

jasper · 21/05/2009 00:02

because, I agree

poshwellies · 21/05/2009 00:37

yeh,I came Quick....

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 21/05/2009 08:09

a while - 10 - 30 minutes I suppose. If you feel you are taking too long (and I'm sure your DH isn't actually impatient, just tired? Unless he's a total prick) my advice is DIY. If you are doggy style or on top (you can even manage in missionary) just get your hand down there and hurry it along. Or get a vibrator (a little one, like the bullet) and use that. Not many women come through penetration alone - for me it's possible but a lot of work and hardly worth the effort lol

Incognitoforawhile · 21/05/2009 09:27

Ok, while we are on the subject I thought I'd dust off an old name change to add my 2p worth.

I find it incredibly hard to orgasm through penetration alone and it has come to the point where I almost always use a vibrator (one of those bullet ones) when we have sex, and it's like something switches on in me, it alights nerve endings I never knew I had. I just can't replicate it manually, but I wonder if I just don't give it a chance? DH doesn't seem to mind, it certainly guarantees that I will orgasm (several times) but I feel a bit defunct that I can't orgasm without it (during penetration that is).

I'd quite like to not be so reliant on it though, so I was thinking of canvassing for tips. I would be interested to know where DoNOtAnnoy's DH has been getting his info...?

debs05 · 21/05/2009 09:52

Im in the minority, mostly come first but know what ticks my boxes. Have always been like this.

dizietsma · 21/05/2009 10:21

Depends.

I can can have an awesome orgasm if I spend about 1/2 hour on it, an OK one in about 3 minutes if I just want a quickie

Scrumplet · 21/05/2009 10:42

Well, it depends if you're talking about coming from actual penetrative sex, or from the whole spectrum of sexual fun and games - oral, hands, etc.

I wrote on another thread t'other day that, apparently, only 30% of women can come from penetration alone. I never have. So if you're talking about it taking you a long time to come from that (and you often don't), you would be very, very normal.

I have read that the average time it takes a woman to come, from the start of clitoral stimulation, is 20 minutes. It takes me anywhere from between three and 20 minutes.

DoNotAnnoy · 21/05/2009 15:52

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