what shall I do?

[wheredidmylifego]

Have namechanged as my dp knows my nickname.

Well, not sure what I want really, maybe just to rant.
Im fed up with my relationship. wondering if I should end it with my dp. I know there are some terible stories on here of awful things that people go through and this will probably seem petty but Im at a loss what to do.

Me and dp are just so funamentaly different I cant make it work anymore. To steel someone elses line, I feel like he is a dementor off harry potter, he is sucking the life out of me.

He is kind, decent man, does his fair share with our dd and around the house, works full time, is not mean or nasty to me......

He is also very closed, never talks about his feelings or emotions, a total TV addict and the weekends just stretch out endlesley with us never doing anything.

I have tried to talk to him, tried to get him to cheer up, do something, anything, he is happy the way he is...... Im not.

I keep in touch with my friends, go out and socialise with them by myself but I want a partner to do things with.

We had a bust up today, our dd is only one and really needs her sleep and its hard to think of anything to do around nap times, I suggested a couple of things, he didnt want to do them....... we had a row.

He got ready and went and met a mate for a drink at half one this afternoon, he is still out, quite unusual for him but I knwo he will be v.v drunk and Im dreading him coming home incase we have a row .

I know it all seems trivial but I have my own issues, a difficult realtionship with my mum, my dad died when I was young, have never felt loved and I dont now by him, I feel he is just going through the motions with me, he is not affectionate, we dont connect. I feel jealous as hell if I see anyoneout and about holding hands etc as he just wouldnt do that

Dont know what to do

I have asked him to move out for a week so I can get my head together, Im off work for the next week and I just want some space to clear my head.

He said he wont, its probably because he dosent want anyone to know anything is wrong and I understand that tbh as then it makes it more real if people know about it.

When he gets back Im going to ask him again I think he needs some time to start beliving that I mean what I say and I need to calm down, there is no point speaking to him when Im overly emotional it just irritates him and he dosent take me seriously.

The trouble is I guess I just feel like such a faliure when I think about us splitting up and all he has to do is give me one hug or say look I love you, lets just forget about it and I cave in usually, Im so pathetic.

Well done for being strong. Your daughter will be fine, we all have moments of sheer frustration, don't worry about it.

FWIW, I think you're doing the right thing asking him to give you space. It doesn't mean you have to split up, but what it can do is give him the chance to see how serious you are and give you the chance to have a good think about your life and your future. I hope he does stand up and take notice because he will lose you because of this if he is not careful. He has the choices in front of him, he can ignore them at his peril.

As for everyone else, easy to say but it's not their business and if he took so much as 5 minutes to actually listen to you and validate your feelings, you wouldn't be in this swful position.

Wishing you luck.

swful = awful

"You're mentally ill" is the classic accusation of the abuser, you know. Someone who loved you and genuinely thought you were mentally ill would never try and make it all about you. Of course he wants to draw a line under yesterday - he was in the wrong and if he had to talk about it he might have to admit it. Bet he isn't going to let your outburst go so easily, because it feeds his power. Maybe he's not an abuser, maybe he's just extremely introverted - or depressed himself? But the way he's behaving to you is not respectful or kind.

You've said it yourself, it's so bizarre to have someone constantly invalidating your feelings.

I hope you can get him to leave just for a short time, so you can have some space to think.

You are not pathetic.

You love someone, that's all. It is just a huge shame that you love someone who is treating you so badly.

You need to have something in place if he refuses again to leave you alone for a week. Is there anywhere you can go?

Put it to him that people will soon know there is something wrong when you file for divorce and if he will give you some space, there is a chance you can work things out if he is willing too as well.

It would be better for your DD to stay in her own home so really if he cares for you, he has to go for a few days.

Switch divorce for split up, I thought you were married. Sorry.