Major financial problems, won't be able to eat in few weeks!

[mower]

Until recently dh work, and I am a sahm, 3 children under 4.

I left it to dh to look after all the finances, found out recently that he was not doing this very well at all and got us into £30,000 worth of debt.

He has now started a contract job where he invoices for work each week, but there is a problem with paying him which someone is always in meetings ect, when he calls to sort it out, so for five weeks of work dh has only earnt us £260.

I have taken it in hand and got myself a job on saturdays and a few extra hours during the week but obviously not even a drop in the ocean to cover mortgage, bills, debt dh has got us in.

Now heating has broken not enough money to fix it, in a few weeks time we will not have enough money to feed the children. Am so frustrated with dh that he is not giving this company so much stick for not paying him. I have suggested he tells them he will not work for them until they pay him and he comes home (works away) and finds a job here until they (if they do) sort out his pay.

I am so pissed off that I seem to be doing every thing, sorting out the money, telling dh what I think he should do, doing everything at home 24/7 and on the one day dh is at home going out to work myself. Feel like telling dh to get a f**king backbone and sort it out instead of me sugesting everything.

When I first found out about the debt I threaten to leave him unless he sorts his job out and he is now working hard to do that but not getting the money. Do I consider threating to leave again and putting my children first, going on benefits so we have money for food. Am going out of my mind here with what to do. Please help.

How awful for you.

There are organisations that can help you sort out debts safely and someone here will know what they are.

I would think it won't help your financial situation splitting up. You will still be able to get benefits as a family I'm sure.

There is lots of sound debt advice on moneysaving expert here if that's any help. Go right to the bottom of the page for debt counselling etc.

Good organisations to contact are Payplan or the Connsumer Credit Counselling Service - both totally free.

So sorry - you much want to kill him! On the relationship front, Relate has some free services for parents, including live chat.
www.relateforparents.org.uk

Not sure I totally understand. Did your DH do quite a bit of work for someone who isn't paying?

Aside from the excellent advice already given, do you grow your own veg in the garden? Its really not as hard as you might think. I had never grown anything before and the first ear we had loads. You really can grow enough veg including potates to last all summer.

i think you need to go to cab sothat you can sort the fiances.

Is he really working? What I mean is, has he got to the stage where he's so ashamed and frightened that he's just pretending to be working?

He wouldn'nt be the first, nor the last to go down this route. - if he is he'll need your support.

You're in a marriage and IMO you're partners, he is not your sperm-donor and cash-machine alone!

Does he work in Construction by any chance? My DP used to work in the building trade and every company he worked for were horrendously bad payers. Part of the problem is that the companies often have serious cash flow problems themselves. It is really stressful but getting shirty with them really doesn't help unfortunately.

The best advice on here is Citizens Advice Bureau, as Custardo suggests. Make an appointment asap. They are brilliant, they will contact all the companies you owe money to and explain the situation and get some payment arrangments in place. Make an appointment with your local jobcentre also, they will be able to advise you regarding benefit entitlement.

Short term, do you have family who can lend/give you some money for food?

I wouldn't threaten your partner with leaving unless you mean it, otherwise it's just playing games.

I work (when not on maternity leave)as a accounts assistant, paying companies and contracters. I always pay our contracters on time as I know they're in the situation you are in now. It's hard to say without knowing what sort of company it is owing your husband money, but definitely keep on at them to pay, or even refer to a debt collecting agency to send them a letter (or your lawyer). This will sometimes be enough to get them to sort it out faster. The poster above is right regarding cash flow, quite often we were owed serious amounts of money ourselves, which hindered us paying everyone we needed to on time. If he can persevere with talking to the accounts payable person and try and build a relationship with them you might have more luck with being paid regularly. I'm sure if you can explain your situation they will have some sympathy. I think threatening to leave will only add to your husbands problems rather than helping to resolve. Good luck with it

as you DH is a contractor (presumably DH's company has a contract with this other company?), couldn't you appoint yourself as finance director/ accounts person and chase the other company yourself on behalf od DH's company?

I'd find out first though why DH doesn't chase them himself? Might it be an own goal to push harder?

I assumed he was self employed, if he was running a company he wouldn't be that slow to chase debtors surely?

I'd say nag nag nag.. call them every day. I always paid the woman who harrassed me for payment (even if it wasnt due yet) as I couldnt be arsed with her calling me all the time. One time I watched her ring my work phone 9 times in one day (thank god for caller ID)

Very sorry to hear. If you aqre okay to tell us all roughly where you live and what type of work you do then someone might consider whether there is a match repportunities