practicalities of separation

[tracktwokindablue]

So now where?

DP and i have agreed we need to separate. I have no close friends or family. I have no income apart from £20/week child benefit. Who is best to contact in these circumstances?

Dp has said he'll stay at his mums for a while, but i don't want to be in our shared flat with our dc long.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

Was in a very similar situation.
Is the flat owned or rented?

First stop, ring tax credits, let them know you are separating and wish to make a claim as an individual.

Ring benefits people - make a claim for income support - They will get you a face to face interview at the job centre to go through your claim, for Income support, housing benefit and council tax benefit.

If you have children under school age they will leave it at that. If older I think you have to look for work, but not sure as I only have preschoolers.

Also appointment with a solicitor to sort out everything else such as contact, debt etc - Should be free as you are not earning.

Also to claim benefits etc much easier if you have a bank account in your sole name

Thanks for the quick reply norks, and so sorry you were in a similar situation.

Flat is joint owned.

Seeing the situ written down, is a bit of a shock. Now i know what i have to do, it seems like this isn't happening.

Bit of denial going on.

Ok if the flat is owned( as was our house)
You are entitled I believe to stay there until youngest DC is 18. At that point DH can force a sale and take his money from the property.

I have decided to stay in our house and in lieu of maintanence DH pays Half the mortgage direct to the lender as do I.
That way my benefits are not affected by an "income" from DH
After 3 months you are entitled to help with payment of the mortgage interest( but TBH this is a lot of faff)

Managing on benefits is not easy, but can be done.

I agree It all feels unreal, I broke down in tears when on the phone to CTC stating I was claiming as a single parent - It suddenly hit home.

If you need to chat, just give me a shout - I am only 3 months down the line myself, so the memories are very fresh

In the same situation tracktwo...can I follow your thread?

We are married and I don't know if this affects claims. And we rent.

I am not stalking you Norks...... Hope you are well.

Sorry you are going through it tracktwo Coping vibes

Visit the CAB as soon as you can, contact the people from benefits. I didn't contact them until recently when I lost my job and was looking to hopefully reduce what I pay for council tax. I regret I didn't conact them before, the Job Centre has provided fantastic advice in many aspects, from where to find free advice about how to get child maintenance to how to get some emotional support as a lone parent, and obviously, finding a job that may suit your circumstances. I don't qualify for benefits but having this information would have save me some time, problems, and even some money spent in solicitors.

Don't leave the flat, you need to keep a roof over your child/ren head/s, you should also get child maintenance from his father, etc. you will be surprised at finding out that you may not be in such a bad situation as it looks to be at the moment

Keep strong

I am fine thanks, up and down days, but going from strength to stregth now. I don't mind being stalked hopefully we can all share info..

As far as still being married, so am I. As far as benefits go, if you are not living together as a married couple ie him in spare room or on sofa, and financially separate ie he does his own washing, cooking, shopping, you can claim.

I claimed and explained that although He hadn't left the building so to speak, we were definately NOT living as a married couple any longer. He did however move out about 4 days later

OP take a look at entitledto.com gives a good insight into roughly how much you can claim( but bear in mind the income support figure includes the mortgage interest money that you will not be entitled to initially, IIRC IS is now about £64 a week)

Thanks again norks. It's good to know that you're on the up, after it being so soon, and thanks for the great further advice.

And thanks Pamboli. I'll contact CAB. Though, i seem to be stalling. I don't know why. I think i need some time to process and work out what i want before taking any more steps. Keeping strong, but being a little cautious.

Mitsubishi, sorry to hear you're here also. It's pretty tough, but heartening to know there are others out there.

I'm not going to be on MN for a week or so. But will check back in to update. I hope you keep posting tho Mitsubishi and any others reading. Strength to you.

Take your time, remember it is important not to take important decisions until you are in the right frame of mind, when the shock/initial emotions have passed and you have a clearer idea of where you are and what do you need (in my case it was 2 months)