Is it possible to get married in secret? Anyone done it?

[stubbyfingers]

Or do we have to bring/lynch witnesses?

We got married in secret in Feb this year. Asked 2 friends to be witnesses and they were the only people that knew. Family were shocked at first but soon came round!

Was also very much for practical reasons.

If you're in London I'd witness for you. I love a good secret wedding!

yes . I did.
was going to use random strangers but instead arranged to meet 2 friends for lunch at place near reg, office.
They did not know till they arrived they were the witnesses.

i t was fab

My grandparents married by pulling 2 witnesses off the street. I think they even stay in touch with them now, and that was many years ago!

I was a witness once like that.

We own a holiday cottage we rent out and a couple arrived one Saturday and said to dh and I "Are you doing anything on Monday?" cos they had booked the registry office! Dh took 2 hours off work (he worked practically next door anyway) - we witnessed, went for lunch and then he went back to work and they ran me home, as the cottage is next door to our house!

I'd arranged for a neighbour to get in to the cottage while we were out and put in a bottle of champers and some red roses for them, and confetti on the bed.

They are still in touch and sent us piccies when their first dc was born last year.

We had a short notice reg office wedding, but did have immediate family as they get on. We just went out to dinner at a nice restaurant afterwards, no special weddingy stuff, although I did get myself a bouquet and some flowers for the tables we used in the restaurant.
It was fairly stress free and we had a great time. If my family didn't get on we'd have happily just got married without them and taken a couple of friends as witnesses.
I don't understand why so many people go for the big white wedding with trimmings thing that you organise years in advance. I suspect that's a major reason most people don't bother marrying at all, it's too much of a fuss.

Lovely romantic thread. Weegiemum just brought tears to my eyes

Go for it, Stubbfingers. I like the witness off the street idea.

As long as your family would not be mortally offended. A friend did this and her mum did not speak to her for a year.

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A lady in my pregnancy swimming group got married about a week before she had her baby. She went one further and didn't tell any of her family, even after the event.

Oh I want to do this! DP and I have been together 5 years now. We always planned to go abroad and do it, but financially it hasnb't be viable. Due to clashing cultures etc. a big family wedding would be a nightmare to arrange, and I've been there, done that in any case .

The biggest worry for us was finding witnesses, I mgiht jsut call up the registry office and see if they can provide a couple!

We had a secret church wedding. The priest asked 2 people to stay after mass to witness it.

I spoke to the rtegistry office and they say they can't provide witnesses as it has to legally be somebody who knows us.

That's a shame - I'm sure if you asked for couple of local mners, then people would be more than happy to oblige (I certainly would!).

Chops - sounds like you're really going to do it! Would you do the Grab-a-Stranger thing, or take some friends?

Am still completely undecided. Whenever I start to think about inviting a couple of close friends, it starts to look like other people might be offended that they weren't included and it's back to strangers. Hmmmm. I wonder if they are ever strict about the witnesses knowing you?

Christina, your wedding sounds perfect

We are going to the registry office tomorrow to book a date when we talked about it the other night we were just going to go and do it in a couple of weeks when dp has a long weekend but decided to wait until July and we are both off together for a few days.

I do have a feeling that when we tell our mums a party will be planned but I wil leave that up to them i'm suite happy to go for a meal and drinks afterwards.

I did think it would be funny to just text everyone we knew afterwards and see how big the night out/pub crawl turned into that night because I know quite a lot of people would just say wow we'll meet you in the pub.

I don't have any friends local enough and don't really like the idea of leaving it to chance that we would find a couple of strangers willing to do it. I'd be worrying that we wouldn't get anybody! We could jsut ask one side of the family but then there is the whole thing of upsetting the other side...

Would considering asking on mn, but feel too shy to!

We're now considering gretna green. They provide witnesses for you. Only problem is that it's 314 miles from here, so it's prob have to be incorporated into a short break.

I'm not sure where the HAVING to know them comes from, since plenty seem to be able to grab strangers!

Chops Gretna do some fab wedding packages including hotel stay. There is actually an older couple who are regular witnesses at weddings it started as a random thing and now they do it regularly.

Honestly as a mn. When I made my post asking if people would be a witness at a strangers wedding loads of poeple said yes so i'm sure you would have loads of willing volunteers. One lady reasonably local to me is going to od it for me if she is free on the day.

Eloped to New York, two friends, who live there and help us plan it, as witnesses. Two other friends who happened to be town that week we let come along. DIdn t tell family. No one too grumpy when secret revealed. Helped that I was pregnant with everyone's first grandchild. I always dreaded the idea of a wedding. Was lovely, private, calm, special, took only days to organise not a whole year, no fights about arrangements, not bankrupting. Think too much obsession about weddings generally.

that sounds brilliant Ineedacleaner!

So you will tell your family before the actual wedding?

Booked Registry Office for 3pm. Asked our 2 neighbours to be witnesses who didn't really know any of our other friends so could be relied upon to keep secret. Skived off work early, the went on to have drinks and a meal after. Was very relaxed and quite a lot of fun!

Subsequently decided to have a proper "wedding" and included a note in invites to let people know we were already married. Some people were a bit put out but got over it. Have to say though that that wedding was not nearly so much fun.

TheDullWitch we're pretty much doing that in August - any tips gratefully received!

Nope not telling a soul ....well apart from you lot my family are spread all over and I was very nearly married before in a big do and learnt so many lessons planning that.

DP's best friend will be a witness but we are not even telling him until we get there and if the mn is free she will be doing it for me.

Will call our families afterwards and tell them. I know although they may be a little disappointed they will be extremely happy we did what was right for us.

TheDullWitch I'm so jealous! New York is my favourite place but not an option for us.

Ineedacleaner Did you book a date?

I got married in New York - at the airport!! We took my mum and dh's mum and dad (although wish id left them at home) and our ds who was 4 and i was 5mths pg.

We didnt tell anyone else - just sent our invites to the party as we were leaving for New York. I sent work a memo and told secretary not to send it until the Monday morning saying i was now married and was Mrs when i returned!

It was fantastic - I didnt want the whole speeches, wedding cakes etc etc

I walked through New York in my wedding dress - what could be better!