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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need avice please going out of my mind

3 replies

chattychick · 12/05/2009 09:25

Hi there
I found out about 7 weeks ago my H was having a affair behind my back. It had only been going on for a month and he said his reson was because he thought that I dint love him or give him attention. The third day of finding out he said he wanted me and not her and that i am the one he wants. I wanted to give it a try and agreed to him and told him no contact with at all. But im so paranoid that he still taking to her, he works offshore so know he not meeting up with her but having messenger he could be talking to her through that. He told me he
sent me an email last night as when i was talking to him through messenger with the camera on I could see he was distracted but little does he know i found his password on bebo and he didnt send me one. If he lying about sending me emails then what else is he lying about. We been getting on I thought really well as weve chatted all night for the past week, but with what he doing with not emailing and then saying he has has put dobt in my mind. I have the OW phone no as well as her email as she messaged me on facebook (cheeky cow) the day after he told her it was over but not to rise to her so I never sent one back plus my H used the phone that was in my name as his credit is crap so I know when and where he phone her upto 1st April. I dont know if I should email or text her and find out if hes been in contact. Any advice would be much appricated as this is making me ill. Thanks x

OP posts:
junglist1 · 12/05/2009 10:00

I don't know whether asking her would do any good as she might say he's been in contact just to upset you. Listen to your instincts and make sure he knows if you catch him again he's OUT.

HappyWoman · 12/05/2009 10:33

or if she still wants to carry on she will tell you a crock of shite anyway about how it has ended and how sorry she is. And then still carry on anyway.

This really is between you and him - what is he doing to make you feel better?

Let me guess - he is saying it is no big deal and that it is over blah blah .... and soon he will say that because you cant trust him he cant handle it.

Only you know but does he seem really sorry and willing to do everything to repair what he has broken - if not then i would say look after yourself now and dont give him the chance to carry on.

This is a horrid situation but beware - he probably is not telling you the whole truth - dont tell him you have his password and sorry to say but if you find more evidence of his lies expect the worst and be really strong.

mrsruffallo · 12/05/2009 10:44

I wouldn't give her the satisfation of contacting her cc.
This something you need to sort out with your husband, it is up to him to build trust between you again and up to you to tell him what you need.
Good Luck

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