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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Slobby Couch Potato behaviour from DP and DSD

3 replies

SickBag · 10/05/2009 21:56

Me and DP moved in together last year. Between us we have 3 children. My two boys and his DD.

I'm not an overly houseproud person so I'm not constantly on the look out for crumbs etc but I'm becoming so sick of the slobbish behaviour of DP and his daughter and I'm really regretting moving in.

They leave dirty clothes stacked up in the living room for instance. The laundry basket was in the living room when I first moved in but I moved it to the bathroom. A few months down the line I came home to find it back in the living room, overflowing with clothes. DP said "DD prefers it there as she gets changed in the living room". I told him you don't put laundry baskets in the living room and 13 year olds shouldn't get a say on such things. I moved it back to the bathroom and so she's just started piling dirty clothes up where the laundry basket used to be beside the sofa and I've caught DP doing it too.

They never clean up after themselves, her bedroom floor is full of dirty clothes, dirty underwear, mugs, chocolate wrappers ... she eats chocolate all night after she's gone to bed and they both eat terribly.

For instance he'll cook her a plate of bacon for her breakfast and then she'll have a glass of coke, a packet of crisps etc too ... DP eats the same. They won't do any exercise. We were at the park at the weekend and DP parked the car in the main car park. When he realised to play area was at the other end of the park, he and DsD got back into the car to drive to the play area! It would have been a 10 minute walk through a lovely picturesque park in the sun. She won't join any clubs, he won't do anything, they're both overweight ...

They were not like this when I first moved in (other than the laundry basket thing). Is it saveable? I just feel like packing up and leaving tbh. I don't want my own boys picking up these habits.

OP posts:
curiouscat · 11/05/2009 21:40

for you this sounds depressing and horrible. They have obviously got into bad habits. Could you tell your dp how rotten it makes you feel? Do you have anywhere else to live? You could otherwise end up in the undesirable and unsexy naggging role.

If it was me I'd make a list of dealbreaking behaviour (laundry basket/coke for breakfast, whatever) and confront him.

Tbh it's gross, I wonder what you're doing there at all. Good luck and hope someone more helpful comes on soon

SomeGuy · 11/05/2009 23:22

they need to do some exercise! five mile walk every weekend.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 12/05/2009 09:30

god good luck - sounds awful - and I'm the same as oyu not being overly houseproud, but do like to live somewhere that doesn't look like a complete shit-tip! My DH has a habit of doing things like leaving dirty washing all over the flat, never washes up etc - I managed to curb that behaviour by piling his dirty clothes on top of his playstation and laptop and saying it wouldn't get washed unless it was in the wash basket....somehow that has actually worked!

Guilt tripping might be the way to go with this one....

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