Post Vasectomy Problems

[Rossco]

My dh had a vasectomy 2.5 years ago after the pregnancy from hell with our youngest ds. I wasn't sure at the time about him having it done because it was fairly soon after ds was born but he was determined and went ahead with the op.

This week he has told me that he regrets getting it done. He feels that his 'performance' has suffered and that orgasm's for him aren't as strong as they were before. He also has some pain in his testicles which put him off sex and while the pain isn't constant it does bother him (understandably).

I asked if he would consider a reversal but he's not keen on a doctor 'fiddling with his bits' again. But I can't instigate sex, it has to be when he wants it probably when there is no pain and he feels able to perform.

I have blamed myself for this as it was because my pregnancy was so hellish and our baby ended up in NICU that he had it done, if I had managed a normal pg and birth he would never have had it done.

Sorry this is so long.

Have no experience ot the op, but you must not blame yourself.

He really needs to go and see his dr and not suffer in silence. were any side effects mentioned to him?

Do you think he might have other sexual/relationship issues and is using the op as an excuse?

I'd make an appt for him at the GP. If he's anything like my dh he won't organise it himself.

You really shouldn't be blaming yourself. You're not the one who's (possibly) ballsed up the operation (sorry really bad pun)

OMG this isnt your fault, stop blaming yourself. You couldnt help having a bad pregnancy and he made the decision to go ahead with the operation after all. I think you need to talk to him some more about a reversal or something (sorry but I dont know anything about Vasectomys!) You say hes not keen to have a doctor fiddling etc, well that doesnt mean he is dead set against it does it, so get talking to him again. Im sure he will listen and then perhaps you could go to the docs together and explain things and take it from there. Good luck.

The reversal process is much more serious and involved than the vasectomy itself. And just to forewarn you/your dh, the pain in the testicles does not necessarily go away after a reversal. In my dh's case it got worse.

The funny thing is a few months after the op he was telling people he'd do it again or have it reversed as it wasn't that big a deal!

I did say I'd make a docs appointment but he doesn't think there's any point. He's muttering now about needing viagra which isn't what he needs at all.

I just don't know what to do for him.

Needs Viagra?

I think this is not about pain and the post op stuff, I think it' s psycholgical and about his performance- maybe nothing to do with the op at all.

Is he jealous of the new baby? Is he suffering low libido and blaming the op?

He needs to see his doc - sounds to me as if he is possibly suffering from pain caused by anxiety and other issues.

I agree with you howtotellmum.

Fortunately he isn't/wasn't jealous of ds who is now 3. We have 3 other ds's too.

I'm working on trying to get him to the docs but its not easy when he won't talk about it.

Not sure that it is necessarily just pyschological. Have been looking at problems caused by vasectomies as my DH is having one soon. Have a look here:-

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article647478.ece

If you google vasectomy problems lots will come up. He needs to go to the docs really if he wants anything to change.

It was your husbands decision to have a vasectomy and you should not blame yourself. Sadly the problem with vasectomy is that the medical profession sell it as highly effective and risk free op. This may be the case. I made the rational decision on this basis. However, I now believe the speed of recovery is grossly overstated. Long term issues of pain seem similarly grossly understated and may commonly affect about a third of patients on a daily basis. I had my op about 3 years ago and have irregular pain including, full balls (which orgasm doe not relieve); to a longer more invasive ache particularly on the left side, I also sometimes notice a sharper sting feeling that can affect orgasm. Orgasm for me does not have such a good release although I am beginning to forget what it was like before. I can state that with certainty that my interest in sex is not as high as before and I have less.
This brings me to psychology. However intellectual you are about the issue there is bound to be psychological impact for many men dealing with their new sterile status and I think it is quite bad of the medical profession to suggest that it's only men with other psychological issues and not the vasectomy that is the cause of any problems. Do not forget that more than 1/2 men will not tell anyone that they have had a vasectomy and so why would they tell anyone about their pain! The majority of men are highly reluctant to go near a GP but the psychology label is likely to put all but the most reluctant to go near a GP. Like your husband I will not go to a GP as I think that if it is the pain issue that further intervention is unlikely to resolve the problem and simply be painful. The best option is for your DH to live with it Good luck!

Hi my DH has had many of these issues too - persistent discomfort and pain, which whilst not agony is enough to affect his quality of life and is something he didnt have before. The Op itself wasn't too bad, I am told, but there was quite bad bruising and swelling afterwards. The biggest effect on him was the trauma of lying naked in front of 3 female nurses and the long time to recover afterwards - the 2-3 days he was quoted was vastly optimistic (it was almost 6 months before he started to feel half normal. From the research he has done subsequently, the problem he encountered is very normal - up to one third report similar after-effects!! Apparently this is often caused from pressure from the build up of sperm which continues to be produced in the lower vas tube which was sealed during the op. In addition, it did definitley affect him pschologically - he became very withdrawn and I would say he almost became depressed for several months. Men dont talk about their feelings, so don't be surprised that these issues aren't given as much attention as they probably merit. Don't underestimate this - it is not just having 'the snip'. I am very appreciatative of my DH for doing this, though if I had known what it involved beforehand, I wouldn't have asked him to.

"?Sixty million men have had this operation worldwide. If there were real problems, they would have emerged,?"