So, i'm crap in bed...

[SpinyNorman]

I have a 7mo DD and for about a year have had a very low sex-drive, i'm really trying to get our sex life back on track, me and DP had a really good talk and he has stopped nagging me about it all the time, i told him i felt unattractive so he has started giving me compliments more, etc etc. he is really trying too.

The thing is, i'm rubbish in bed. DP has never said anything about it, but i know its true. I have a fear of embarrasing myself, or people laughing at me, i'm not sure why, i've always been this way.

For example, when we have sex i can't bear for him to look at me, i constantly pull him down to me if he is on top and kiss him, i hate the thought of him looking at my face and seeing the faces i make during

He is soo attentive and would do and try anything i asked him to, but i'm too damn shy to say anything. FGS i don't even have the balls to initiate sex, and never have in the whole 5 years we've been together

I get so frustrated with myself, but i'm so self concious

arrrgh

sorry for the essay, i just don't know how to learn to really relax when we have sex, and not care what i look like

I'm not Mystic Meg but I think that because you want to improve things and because you seem to have a really sound relationship your confidence and sex life will improve in no time. In my experience if you can take that first step and get over the intitial shyness you will feel sexier and your confidence will grow. Just bite the bullet (not literally) and go for it.

yes, not too much vino

sexy undies

nice meal (but don't stuff yourself)

maybe you could play footsie under the table

have a great time !

Spiny

I could have written your OP, really. Married eight years, and I really have no confidence now, at all. I think it's been since having the children. I used to like my body but now just feel wobbly with no boobs and covered in stretch-marks before I was more confidence. Never a sex godess, mind. Hardly have every initiated sex, either.

Can you imagine how boring that must be for my DH?

I know a lot of this is in your mind, because your DH still fancies you and doesn't see you the way you see yourself.

You're doing the right thing coming on here, you'll get lots of great advice and hopefully if you put some of it into practice you'll both reap the rewards I know that is what I really need to do.

After all, this is the only marriage I intend to have so it is worth putting the effort in.

ok, just a couple of whiskeys glasses of champagne

AnnasBananas you are right, DP is the only man for me so i want to make the effort to improve things,and i'm sure your DH still fancies the pants off you